On Tuesday I talked about how difficult it is for me to accept a compliment. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say that the main reason I can’t really accept a compliment is that I don’t think all that highly of myself. However, despite this, I have gotten increasingly better at accepting compliments from people. How do I do it? Well, I’ve come up with a few strategies that help me not get sidetracked when someone has something nice to say. Here are some of my favorites:
Compliments happen all the time; they’re a natural part of life. I won’t do you the boredom of breaking down what a compliment is and why it happens (even though I did find an interesting study that says it feels just as good to give a compliment as it does to receive one – food for thought!) – instead, I’m going to tell you why it’s so hard for some people to accept a compliment.
Let’s face it – at some point, everyone feels overwhelmed. Whether it’s school, your work or another aspect of your life, there are times when we feel like the world is closing in on us and we feel trapped. While it’s more common for some to feel this way than most people, make no mistake – most people you know have felt overwhelmed about their lives at some point.
I don’t really like myself. That is not a put down, that is not a criticism. That does not mean the world, or my world, is ending. That is just what I believe.
I’ve been reading a book called “The Empath’s Survival Guide” which is all about how to live and succeed if you’re an empathic person (no, I did not mean empathetic – there’s a difference!). I’m hoping that once I finish I can offer a solid review of the book but for now, there’s some word choice in the book that’s caught my eye and led to some questions.
In particular, the author’s constant reminder to ‘stay grounded’ and to ‘ground yourself’ was something I noticed immediately. It was in nearly every chapter, sometimes making multiple appearances, and it made me think – what does it mean to ground yourself? I don’t mean in the sense of staying humble and keeping your ego in check, but actually keeping your feet on the ground and remaining present.
This I how I think of ‘grounding yourself’: being present in the world around you and not living inside your head. I’m sure there are many other aspects of being grounded, but these are the main criteria that I try to follow if I’m looking to be a grounded person.
So, how do you stay present? Different things work for different people, and understanding that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution in this situation can go a long way toward maintaining toward being mentally healthy. Some people meditate, others pray to their higher power. People write in journals, listen to soothing music and go for a run. Sometimes it involves exhausting your body; other times it involves exhausting your mind. Regardless, you’re challenging yourself to be in the moment and seeing how long you can stay there.
Some people need more time than others to stay grounded. I know people who only need five minutes a day to meditate and they are refreshed and ready to go; others need more time or need to do more strenuous activity. I am one of those people, and I’m okay with that. The important thing to remember here is that you have to do what works for you. While it’s okay to try things that you’ve seen work in others, don’t put yourself into a box when it comes to staying ground. If it’s healthy and effective, that is all you need to worry about.
I stay grounded in a number of ways, but one of my favorites in the past month has been to go for a run. Now that the weather in DC is nice, I’ve been able to exercise outside, and it’s made me more grounded than anything else in recent weeks. I’m able to exist among the trees and plants on the sidewalks and enjoy the fresh (city) air as I exercise. Though I only currently run twice a week, it’s become something I look forward to and keeps me present – it’s hard to exercise that long if you’re not present in your task!
One more thing – sometimes trying to be grounded doesn’t work. That’s okay. Don’t put pressure on having an activity ‘cure’ you or boost your mood. Sometimes being grounded just means that you remain busy. By remaining busy, you might be able to keep things like depression and anxiety at bay. Whether it’s a big victory or a little one, a win is a win when it comes to mental health challenges. I wish you good luck with yours.
What do you do to stay ‘grounded’? What do you wish you’d do more of to be present in the moment? I want to know!