My Brain's Not Broken

Something I’ve come to expect in life is that unexpected things happen all the time. That’s not a lead-in to say that anything major recently happened, but the most recent unexpected thing is that I have to find a new therapist (shoutout to insurance for ruining a good thing yet again). This isn’t anything new – in fact, this past 11 months is the most success I’ve had with a therapist in the 10 years I’ve been exploring therapy – but it’s yet another adjustment to make on my mental health journey. Here’s how I’m feeling at the moment.

One of the ways that I combat depression and anxiety is by creating routines. As I’ve written before, I don’t always have one specific routine, and it’s not as regimented as you might think. Rather, my routine is having a list of activities, chores, errands, and items on my to-do list that help me on my mental health journey. When I get stuck and don’t know what to do (which is a slippery slope to anxiety), I think about that list. Then, I find something on it that I can do, which helps me manage my mental health in the best way possible.

Therapy was one of those things. Once per week (and then once every other week when it became a little overwhelming), I had time to look forward to that was 100 percent focused on my mental health. A time where I could think critically, speak without fear of judgement, and do my best to learn about my relationship with my mental illness. Obviously the biggest advantage here is the therapy itself, but as my therapy schedule got more consistent, I knew I had some mental health time to look forward to, and I embraced that feeling.

Therapy’s been a big part of my routine and the way I manage my mental health. But for now, it won’t be. I know it will be part of my routine again (the search for a therapist is a familiar one), but for now I’m focusing on adjusting to this change to make sure I’m moving forward.

And when I say moving forward, that’s exactly what I mean. I don’t want to move on, sprint ahead, or power through. I just want to keep moving. My journey with mental health means that sometimes my depression and anxiety makes me stagnant. That might be okay for others, but I know that being stagnant can have serious effects on my wellness.

So I’ve created a new goal here. I have some adjustments to make, but my biggest goal right now is to keep moving forward with my mental health journey in the healthiest way possible – however that looks. Wish me luck!

How to adjust to disruptions in your routines, and what’s the best way to deal with those disruptions? I’d love to hear from you in the comment section!