I apologize a lot. I mean, a LOT. I’ve done it so much that it’s like a reflex now – I say sorry without even thinking why I’m doing it.
And I apologize for everything. If I’m running late, I say sorry. If I misunderstand what someone said to me, I say sorry. If I don’t do as good of a job on something as I think should, I say sorry. I know it’s not what I should be doing, but I do it anyway. I don’t even consider whether or not I am actually sorry – it’s out of my mouth before I have time to think.
The one thing I apologize for constantly, and above all else, is my mental health. I say sorry when I can’t meet up with a friend because I’m depressed. I apologize that I wasn’t more social when I’m out because my anxious mind is doing cartwheels. If I have a panic attack in front of someone, I’m more concerned with whether or not that person is okay instead of trying to calm myself down. It’s not good for me – and I want to stop.
I want to stop because of all the people who have told me not to say sorry. They don’t want me to apologize for my mental illness – they just want me to be okay. And over the years, I missed that. I prioritized things incorrectly, and it stopped me from dealing with my mental illness in a healthy way.
Yes, apologize for the mess-ups. For the mistakes you make. But don’t apologize for who you are. I was ashamed of my mental health for a long time, and it held so much power over me. Now that I’m not ashamed, that power is gone. Yes, it’s still something I deal with, but I’m not afraid to deal with it. I’m not sorry. Hope that’s okay.
My Brain's Not Broken 
YES! Love these words, and couldn’t agree more! I’ve also found myself apologizing countless times when I have no need to.
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Isn’t it so annoying? It definitely took me a long time to stop saying sorry all the time, but once I did it was totally worth it.
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I am an excessive apologizer as well- I think it has to do with my anxiety. But I agree with trying to stop apologizing for things that aren’t my fault or things that are due to my anxiety. It’s something I want to work more on this year. A co-worker overhearing a conversation with a client once told me “don’t ever apologize for things that aren’t your fault- you can apologize for their experience but not for things that are not your fault. I have been able to easily apply this to work but it’s time I applied elsewhere now.
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It’s good that you applied it to work! Mental health in the workplace is something I’m very passionate about – you spend so much time there! Good luck applying it in other aspects of your life. I know you can do it 🙂
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