Lost In My Mind

Put your dreams away for now
I won’t see you for some time
I am lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind…

Those are lyrics from a song by The Head and The Heart, and they’ve been stuck in my head all week because (if you can guess) I tend to get lost in my mind well…a lot. I used to think that it was a bad thing to get lost inside your head, but now I don’t see it that way.

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There’s a phrase people use often when they get engrossed in their thoughts, that you’re “living inside your head.” For some people this can happen every so often when they’re nervous or anxious about life events. For me, it happens all the time – I feel like some days I take up a permanent residence inside my head, which isn’t usually a fun place to be.

I used be to afraid of living inside my own head. If you had the choice between being somewhere that brought out the best in you and somewhere that brought out the worst, you’d pick the first one, right? For a long time, it seemed that I only picked the latter – with disastrous results.

It was only recently that I got more comfortable with my thoughts – at least, some of the time. Once I began to realize that I had power over them, rather than my thoughts wielding power over me, my attitude changed. I’m not saying that I’m not afraid of my thoughts now, but I’ve taken a step in the right direction and am hoping that one day, I won’t be afraid to get lost in my head.

On this journey I’ve learned that every win, regardless of magnitude, is important. If this is the first step to being completely comfortable with my thoughts, that would be wonderful. If it’s not? That’s okay too. I spent way too much time trying to change the way I am instead of accepting certain things about me, and getting lost in my thoughts is one of those things. I think about all the negative aspects of living inside my head and forget about all the self-awareness and thoughtfulness that I’ve gained as a result.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without all the time spent lost in my thoughts and though it isn’t easy, I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t know if I like the way I am, but I’m getting to be okay with it. And for me, that’s saying a lot.

 

Life Update!

Life Update

When I get into a rhythm, I tend not to keep track of what I’ve got going on. I ebb and flow from one day to the next, going through the motions of my day. While its nice to be in this rhythm because my mental health is in a decent place, it sometimes feels like I’m not really enjoying any aspect of who I am or what I’m doing. By providing a little life update I’m hoping for two things: 1) that my readers get to know me a little bit better, and 2) that I am able to take stock of some of what I’m doing in hopes of improving my long-term mental health.

So what’s new? My job is still going well; I’ve been at it for eight months, and it’s produced a ton of new challenges that make me have to think creatively about the messaging of what we do. Since I like to keep work life separate from my personal life I don’t elaborate much on here what I do, but it’s safe to say that I enjoy it very much.

I’m also back in school! Kind of. I recently started an online certification course to teach English as a foreign language, otherwise known as TEFL. After this 11-week course (and a practicum I have to fulfill) I will be TEFL-certified and can teach English anywhere in the world! I discovered my love for travel when I lived in Prague in college, and since I graduated it’s been my goal to figure out a way to explore the world – this is a great way to do that! While I’m not in any rush to go somewhere immediately, I’m glad that I will have the certification in hand so that when I decide to go abroad I won’t have to wait.

While these two things are taking up much of my time these days, I’m doing my best to continue doing the little things that keep my mental health strong. For me, that means exercising and working my mind by reading and playing brain games on my phone. I also like to cook for myself, and I go on walks when I can’t stop my anxious mind from working. I’m staying busy, which sounds good in theory, but I don’t know if it’s what’s best for me or my mental health (could that be the next post? Stay tuned!).

Overall, I am in a much better position than I was a year ago, when I was having panic attacks every single day and was unable to leave my bed. I hope as this blog continues that you will get to know me better, not only as a person with depression or GAD but as someone who is just like you. Isn’t that all people want, anyway?

Mental Health and Masculinity

When I first began experiencing symptoms of depression, I (quite naturally, I might add) shrugged it off. I assumed that most people felt the way I was feeling at the time, and chalked it up to any number of reasons: I was in a transitional period in my life, going through a lot of change and facing plenty of uncertainties. I was shocked when, the more I began to share my experiences with others, the more I saw that they were more unique than I thought. But I also found it interesting that women were far more open to discussing my issues than men were. I don’t believe that was a coincidence.

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Taking a Minute

Things move very fast for me these days. Maybe it’s that I’m keeping myself busy with writing, or doing my best to maintain a mentally healthy lifestyle, but sometimes days fly by without me noticing. Not that I mind; I have some long-term goals in mind that I am very much looking forward to, and they can’t happen without the passage of time (hopefully I’ll get into those goals one day on this blog – I’m very excited about them!). However, time moving too quickly is a double-edged sword for me. On one hand, if I’m having a bad day mentally I’m just hoping that the day will move by without further incident, that I can make it to bedtime with my mental health still intact. There are days where I long for my bed so that I simply lie down and try to conquer the thoughts in my mind.

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Why I Don’t Want Alone Time

_Man, it feels good to be alone sometimesGod I gotta say those are my favorite nights._I’m introverted by nature, so spending time with groups of people tires me out pretty quickly. Introverted people typically need time to themselves to recharge their batteries, to be alone with their thoughts. They’re typically more reflective than most because they feed off that solitude.

I’m speculating, of course, because that’s merely been my experience as an introverted person, but I’ve heard from friends that they can be the same way (how do you think we became friends?). However, if you combine an introvert with a mental illness, that alone time becomes increasingly more complicated – and not easy to come by.

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My Response to that YouTube Video

I didn’t want to write about this. Honestly, I didn’t. But it kept coming. From different media outlets, from all over social media, people were weighing in on what a certain YouTuber had done in one of his videos. I’m sure you know what I’m referring to but if not, here’s a good piece from the editorial director of The Mighty that gives background on what happened, as well as important information on what to remember when you see this story pop up on your newsfeed.

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One Day At a Time, One Year At a Time

So it’s the end of 2017, and congratulations are in order. You made it!

Did I? You’re probably asking. And there could be good reason for that question. Whether it was a good year or bad, getting to the finish line of a calendar year can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in molasses – it takes forever to get there and when you do, it’s anti-climactic.

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Mental Illness During the Holidays

It’s a magical time of year, isn’t it? It’s cold outside, the snow is falling (in some places) and you feel content because the holiday season is upon us. It’s a near-perfect picture. Unfortunately for some people, that feeling doesn’t come around this time of year – in fact, they could end up feeling worse.

While the holidays are a wonderful time to be among friends and family, it’s not a wonderful time for mental health. Yes, it can be healing to be among loved ones, and for a lot of us it’s a boost to be around the people we care about. But please take note – you might be on holiday, but your mental health is not.

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Flexing Your Mental Muscle (Guest Post)

This post was written by Pat Everett and his experience with mental health. He is a dear friend of mine who is brave enough to share his story. Thanks Pat.

Reading through the posts that Nathan has made on this great blog has really stirred some reflection in me. I am not unlike many of you reading who have endured and/or continue to endure battles with poor mental health, or at the very least know somebody struggling with a mental health issue. Currently, I feel very satisfied and stable in the condition of my mental health. I feel that by sharing my experience, I can help people who may have similar struggles to think up a new strategy to improve their progress or help get some progress started towards a healthier mental state.

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