It Sounded Better in My Head

One of the more prominent aspects of my anxiety is my difficulty with conversation. Most of that stems from social anxiety, which (according to the National Institute of Mental Health) is “an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.” Having conversations with others, especially people I don’t know all that well, can make me very nervous. I’m often worried I’ll say the ‘wrong thing’ and ruin a conversation, which is why I often avoid them. The biggest reason I end up in these situations is that I have an unrealistic view that every interaction I have with someone should be ‘perfect’ – which is what I want to talk about today.

Continue reading

How to Handle New Symptoms of Mental Illness

After living with anxiety and depression for almost a decade, I’ve become used to the symptoms that occur on my mental health journey, especially since my physical symptoms manifest themselves pretty plainly. Since my mental health has a clear impact on my physical wellness, it got easier to recognize my physical symptoms and adjust. Though it’s been extremely helpful throughout my journey, it also makes things difficult when new symptoms of anxiety appear. Not only is it surprising to accept, it can be very discouraging when new symptoms arise – but there are ways to deal with it.

Continue reading

I’m Sorry, I Lost My Train of Thought…Again.

One of the most frustrating aspect of living with depression and anxiety is that at times, my brain can get easily overwhelmed . Whether it’s managing negative thoughts or trying to process what’s going on around me, it doesn’t take much to get my brain going. However, when there’s so many thing going on, it can be easy for my to lose track of my thoughts – a common experience for people living with mental illness. So how does this happen, and what can we do about it?

Continue reading

Having Anxiety During Vacation

Anxiety is not fun. Being on vacation, for the most part, is fun. So what happens when the two are combined? Well friends, I’d like to share with you what it’s like to deal with anxiety when you’re on vacation. It’s something I’ve been doing for years, and even before the pandemic, I knew there would be challenges when I took time off. But I’ve learned that while there will always be challenges, preparation can make a world of a difference when I try to enjoy my time off.

Continue reading

Learning to Sit With Uncertainty

Earlier this week, I shared some news about adjusting to the fact that, after nearly a year, I’ve had to stop seeing my therapist. It’s a process I’m used to – in fact, this is the most success I’ve ever had with a therapist – but there’s something familiar about being in this position. Whether it’s feeling like I’m starting from scratch or having to wade into the pool of finding someone new to talk to about my life, it’s not a feeling I enjoy. But I think what I dislike most is that it brings up a lot of uncertainty in my day-to-day life – an uncertainty that’s hurt my mental health in the past.

Continue reading

Making Adjustments and Moving Forward

Something I’ve come to expect in life is that unexpected things happen all the time. That’s not a lead-in to say that anything major recently happened, but the most recent unexpected thing is that I have to find a new therapist (shoutout to insurance for ruining a good thing yet again). This isn’t anything new – in fact, this past 11 months is the most success I’ve had with a therapist in the 10 years I’ve been exploring therapy – but it’s yet another adjustment to make on my mental health journey. Here’s how I’m feeling at the moment.

Continue reading

How to Learn Patience When You Have Anxiety

Earlier this week, I wrote about how patience can sometimes be a difficult concept. Patience might be a virtue, but that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy it all the time! However, I know that building patience – with myself and the world around me – has many benefits for long-term growth. And this can be especially true when it comes to managing my anxiety! Here are a few of my tips for building patience when you live with an anxiety disorder, and how you can learn more about creating a healthier attitude towards the idea of patience.

Continue reading

Patience is a Virtue – Doesn’t Mean I Have to Like It

I really don’t like to think about patience. To be honest, it kind of annoys me. The number of times I’ve been told to just be patient is far too many to count. Part of that is probably my mental illness, but the bigger part of it is just me being a person. As a concept, “practicing patience” has always confused me. Maybe I don’t understand it as a concept – there are a ton of things I don’t understand as concepts, to be honest – but I have no idea of how to put it into practice. Nevertheless, I continue to try and be patient in my day-to-day life. Short-term, it’s frustrating and can sometimes trigger my anxiety. But long-term, it’s helped me find peace where I can find it and build a more sustainable plan for mental wellness.

Continue reading

I Don’t Want to Leave My Anxiety At Home

Every day, people go into the world and do things. We run errands, we go to work and school, we exercise…the list goes on. And when we go out into the world, we bring our whole self with us. If we’re happy, we’re going out into the world with a smile on our face. If we’re upset, we’re not in a good mood, and the world is going to hear about it. Either way, we still go out. I’m usually annoyed at the fact that I have to continuously interact with the world, because it means I have to bring my depression and anxiety with me. But everyone once in a while, I can actually use that to my benefit.

Continue reading

A Weekend Derailed By Anxiety

I had a different post planned for this week that I hope I can post soon, but some things happened over the weekend that inspired a different type of post from me today. As I’ve written before, sometimes anxiety beats me, and on Saturday I had one of the worst anxiety attacks I’ve had in a long time. Before I continue I should say that I am doing better now, and that the situation itself is resolved. But one of the reasons I view this as one of the most difficult anxiety attacks I’ve had in a long time was because of how hard it was to not view it as an enormous setback, which is what I’d like to write about today.

Continue reading