anxiety

Looking for a Reason…and Failing

Nathan Smith4 Comments

Why do we do the things we do? It’s a pretty broad question, and one I’ve often asked myself before. Wondering about the reason behind our words or actions is fairly common, especially when a person is dealing with mental health challenges. It’s human nature to want to know the reason behind things; to understand the why. And in our pursuit of finding that why, we tend to create a black-and-white way of looking at things. But sometimes we don’t know what to do when we can’t find a reason – and that is what I want to talk about today.

It’s human nature to want to know the reason behind things, but anxiety and depression don’t always offer us the reasons we’re looking for. We often have to deal with the symptoms, with tendencies or triggers that get activated. Over the years, as people learn more about themselves or how to live with a mental illness, they might be more attuned to the reasons behind some of these things. But early on in a mental health journey – or even years down the road – we can still find ourselves without a reasonable explanation for why we’re feeling a certain way.

And that isn’t always a bad thing. Frustrating, yes, but not always bad. Because at the end of the day, there is often a reason or an explanation. But when there’s not, there’s an assumption we tend to make – and that there’s no reason for why we’re feeling this way, and that it is completely nonsensical that we’re acting or feeling a certain way.

Early on in my mental health journey, a common mistake I would make is assuming that when I couldn’t find a reason or explanation for something, I was convinced it’s because the reason didn’t exist. Why was I sad today? I had a few minutes to think about it and if I didn’t determine a reason, then I was the problem. I was sad for no reason. I was anxious for no reason. And if there was no reason, I thought at the time, then there wasn’t a going to be a solution.

What I was being too stubborn to admit to myself, and a problem I think a lot of us run into, is that we don’t push back on that false narrative. Looking back, I started to learn how most often times, there probably was a reason I was feeling that way at the time, I just didn’t know it then. For instance, if I was feeling depressed, and I couldn’t figure out why, then a reason didn’t exist. It was as if a reason couldn’t exist unless I also defined it and made it make sense to me. And while it made sense that this was my conclusion, I am hoping to grow in the way I deal with those feelings.

Over time, I have gotten more comfortable with not knowing (I wouldn’t say I actually am comfortable, but that’s a post for another day). Why? Because most of the time, there was an explanation – it just wasn’t one I wanted to hear. Sometimes, the reason was simply: I have depression. Or I have anxiety. Sometimes the reason was deeper than that, but sometimes it wasn’t. Either way, I stopped stressing – at least, as much as I was able. Just because I don’t know a reason for things doesn’t mean a reason doesn’t exist – and I’m growing more comfortable with acknowledging that truth. I’ll figure it out one day. And if I don’t? Well, as I’ve learned, there are plenty of other things to worry about – trust me on that.

"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next." - Ursula K. Le Guin

What Counts As Progress?

Nathan Smith1 Comment

The idea for this post stemmed from what I wrote last week about setbacks. I’ve been trying to think of different ways to process setbacks, and a large aspect of that is thinking about the progress I’ve made. Sure, I can take a step back on something in life, but am I remembering the three steps forward? It is a good reminder to think about the ways we process setbacks, but it also made me realize something about progress – and that is that I don’t always know how to track it.

This might make me sound old (I’m starting to say that a lot these days), but it does seem like in today’s day and age, we can track everything. If you want to plan something, organize something, or sort out a routine, there’s an app or a tool or something to help you track it. There are a million and one ways to see our progress in all aspects of our lives – and I think because of that, we start to feel like we should be able to track our own progress as human beings (oh, if it were only so simple).

How do you measure your progress? Take, for instance, exercise. Pretty simple, right? If your goal is to run a marathon, you can train for it, and use distance, time, or other measurements to track your progress leading up to the race. There are plenty of ways to measure progress like this – we look at where we are now, where we want to be, and where we’ve been to count that progress.

But life doesn’t always work like that. We have ups and downs, periods where it seems like nothing is happening and times where it feels like one thing after another. When it comes to mental health, our journeys can have more twists and turns than we know what to do with. And when it comes to our mental health, knowing what progress looks like is very similar to knowing ourselves.

When I was first dealing with my mental health challenges, I don’t think I knew how to measure progress. One of the reasons for that was that I didn’t know myself all that well. I didn’t know what I was dealing with. But after more than a decade of learning about my own mental health and the challenges I have, I’ve come to know myself just as well. Today, I can measure progress in a way that was impossible a decade ago, or even just a few years ago.

This might sound like I’m just pondering on the concept of progress, but I promise it’s deeper than that. Because each one of us has our own definition of progress and what it looks like in our lives. And because of this, it’s up to each and every one of us to know what actually counts as progress.

For instance, I currently have a goal of meditating at least five times per week. And while I don’t often meet that goal, it exists because of progress I’ve made in meditation over the years. It only exists because of the hundreds of times I’ve sat myself down, pressed play on a meditation, and focused on my breathing. But for someone else, that same goal might feel easy. It might feel impossible. And whether they succeed or fail, they would have a different vision of the progress they’ve made based on who they are and their own life experiences.

I guess my point is, at the end of the day, progress is progress. And what looks like one step forward to one person, could look like ten steps forward to someone else. It’s up to you to know what actually counts, and I hope that gives you confidence as you move forward in your mental health journey. Because while it’s nice to keep on top of everything little thing, there’s nothing wrong with zooming out, looking at the bigger picture, and realizing that human beings often accomplish a lot more than we ever give ourselves credit for.

"It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen."

A Moment to Reflect, and a Return to Blogging

Nathan Smith4 Comments

Hi, again. So…yeah. This is my big return to blogging. I haven’t written since last year. I don’t know why I stopped. I mean, I do know why I wasn’t able to do it for so long – life gets in the way sometimes – but I don’t quite know what happened. But, since I would like to get back in the swing of things with this space, I figured it would be better to post something than nothing at all. So here I am.

It’s been a busy time since my last post. While there are probably a million and one things to catch you up on, I can provide the big highlight here – I got married! Last month, I married the love of my life; the day was absolutely amazing, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. The road leading up to that day was filled with a lot of work, planning, and preparation – and as you can imagine, took quite a toll on my mental health! But it was all worth it and at the end of the day, I am overjoyed and overwhelmed with positive emotion when I think about that day, which is all I can really ask for.

I’d like to say that’s the main reason I (unintentionally) stepped away from this space, but I don’t quite know if that’s true. Because I’ve been here before. Writing a similar message, about a similar topic. At the time, I had just gotten engaged. After months of struggling to come up with topics and ideas, I’d been re-invigorated to get back into writing. And although I turned out a few posts here and there…it didn’t stick.

For a long time, I thought about why it didn’t stick. I doubted myself as a writer, a blogger, and as a mental health advocate. I worried that I had nothing left to give here, or that my opinions didn’t matter. There was part of me that thought maybe I’d even plateaued, and had no more original thoughts to offer on mental health, wellness, or anything related to those things.

And who knows? Maybe that’s true (I kid…mostly). But in truth, I don’t think that’s what it is. I think, like many things, it was an accumulation. I went through a period of massive change in my life, and while I think I did handle it okay, it took its toll on my mental health. Most days went well, but I often felt like it took everything out of me to have a decent day. And here’s the thing – that period of change? It’s not over. In fact, the fact that the world changes around me every single day – and that I change with it – is actually one of the most consistent things I know to be true about my life.

Life, as with mental health, ebbs and flows. Things are busier than ever one day, then calm the next. Months can pass where we feel like we are constantly bombarded with tasks, items, details, and to-do’s, when we look up and realize another school year has passed, or another holiday is upon us. But there can also be times that feel so mundane or humdrum, that we yearn for the days of chaos and calamity. Over time, I’ve come to see that regardless of where we are, the grass often feels greener on the other side.

So here I am. Seeing the grass on the other side and choosing, trying to choose, the patch of the world I’m standing on now. Life will happen, as it so often does, and I will live, as I have done my best to do for the past 32 years. But I take it I’ve learned a thing or two in the last eight months and, as I shake myself out of this writer’s fog, I’m excited to figure out what exactly that is, and share it with all of you.

Quote from Theodore Roosevelt: "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing."

Why Do I Do the Things I Do?

Nathan Smith5 Comments

Years of living with anxiety and depression have taught me many things. Some of those things were about mental health, while other things were about myself and who I am as a person. But despite all I’ve learned, I still do things that leave me asking myself one question over and over: Why did I do that?

I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way, but I’m the type of person who always wants to know the why of something. Why did I do that? Why did they say that? Why did I react that way? This question can come from all sorts of situations, and can happen on an almost daily basis. And while there are often simple answers, not every one of them will be satisfying. When it comes to our mental health, those questions can be some of the most difficult to answer.

I remember when I was first dealing with anxiety and depression, and I would ask myself “Why?” all the time. All the time! Why was I sad? Why didn’t I have a reason? Why was I struggling getting out of bed? Every new thing I learned brought new questions about mental illness, or about myself. And I desperately wanted answers.

But sometimes with our mental health, answers can be hard to come by. We want clear explanations, something obvious to point to, for why we feel the way we do. But mental illness often doesn’t give us the response we’re looking for – if it gives us a response at all. So we have to find other ways to reach our goals.

One of the ways I get around asking the impossible Why? questions is to ask myself something more practical. These questions feel similar but they start with a different word: what. What am I feeling? What is happening within my body, in the world around me? What factors might be impacting how I’m feeling right now? What can I do in this moment to help support myself? It was a massive shift in my way of thinking that I didn’t know I needed. Rather than put the focus on something I couldn’t change, I tried to move it to something I could. I can’t control everything that happens to me, but I do control how I react. And while I don’t remember that in every situation, it’s helped me plenty of times.

So this is what I’d like to leave you with today. You might not always know why you’re acting the way you are, and that can be frustrating. But understanding that you are doing it, that there’s a reason behind it, is also important. You can’t solve a problem you don’t know exists, right? Many mental health challenges grow or persist because we’re not able to see the problem for what it is. Asking “what’s wrong?” instead of “why am I doing this?” might sound like a small change in word choice, but it’s helped me shift my mindset on my own mental health. And over time, those small changes can amount to big ones – not only for our mental health, but for our whole self.

An image of flowers and a pond with text over top that reads: There are things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self. Benjamin Franklin

Getting Unstuck with Traci Edwards

Nathan Smith3 Comments

CW: This post discusses mental illness and suicide.

One thing I enjoy about this blog is the chance to learn about other people’s approaches to mental health and wellness. Today, I’m sharing an interview with Traci Edwards, who recently started her own digital project, Let’s Get Unstuck, to create an online community in support of others who feel “stuck.” 

In your own words, how would you describe Let’s Get Unstuck?

[Let’s Get Unstuck] is a space for people who feel stuck and are looking for ways to get their lives back on track.

It’s a safe place to be vulnerable, free from judgement, and supported. A place to share their stories without criticism or fear. To learn from others how to gain back their power from painful moments. How to turn their pain into purpose and power. A place for shared stories to help others work through struggles. I want to find the right voices to tell the right stories that can relate to as many people as possible and pull them back into a place of hope and get them believing in possibility again. 

What do you hope people will gain from your project, and from your perspective?

Image of woman in chair, smiling
Traci Edwards (image courtesy of Traci Edwards)

I want people to gain a true connection with me, but also with other people who share similar values of spreading goodness and compassion to others. I want people to gain a new safe space in a digital community where they can be vulnerable, honest and feel unjudged. A place to tell their truth and to know that they will receive love and kindness in return. My space is not for harsh critics and to tear others down. I also want people to gain perspective from others about topics they struggle with. Tips, tools, advice that helps them through a tough time. I know this exists in more established websites and I want to make this one of those sites, but always upholds integrity and authenticity. 

If anyone can gain anything from me, then I am doing my part. I had no expectations when I started writing; only that I want to help others through dark times and in return, I can learn something new that can perhaps help me. I want people to walk away with hope. To find their confidence and self-worth again. I want them to know it’s okay to be off track and stuck, that they aren’t alone. I also want them to feel supported which is why I share relatable stories and tools that can help them move toward getting unstuck. I only know what has worked for me, which is what I want to share with everyone.

When it comes to mental health, why is it so important for people to share their stories?

[People’s] stories can very well be the one thing that gives someone struggling another day to live. People really do not fully understand the power behind their words. I literally had a young 25 year old girl write to me the other day asking me for help. She had connected with something that I wrote. I had to explain to her that I was not a therapist but I would most certainly be there to listen. The sweet young woman was unsure about her life as she felt unloved, unwelcomed and unneeded. She was in a very dark place of depression and told me she isn’t sure if she wants to live anymore. The first thing I did was provide her with a group for people that could guide her to the right therapist b/c she asked me for help. Then I just listened to her and asked her simple questions. She was so taken back that I was willing to give her a stranger time to unload and to just be heard. We spoke for a while. She said “thank you that you care thank you”. This all stemmed b/c of a story I shared. That is the power of our writing. That in one moment it captured someone in a way that helped pull someone back from a ledge. That is why people should share their stories. To help others. Bottomline. 

Why does mental health matter to you?

I lost my best friend to suicide when I was 14 and he was 15. Far too young! Then another one a year later to suicide. Similar in age. Throughout my years, hearing friends lose friends or family members to it as well. Then you see well-known celebrities broken on the inside when appearing well put together on the outside taking their own lives as well. Then recently I lost an ex who I once loved very much to this as well. 

People feel broken, this world feels so small to them, that pain will not pass and they feel alone. This breaks my heart! I am a person who wants to help, it’s just part of who I have always been. When I see someone I know feeling empty inside I want to be that person to help pick them up. So, when suicide keeps coming up it makes me feel like I could have or should have done more. 

I personally have been battling with anxiety since my 20s and I have family members with major depression and I see them struggling a lot. It scares me to think that one day they won’t be here because the pain outweighs everything else.

People feel helpless and don’t feel safe to speak about what they are struggling with. There needs to be more compassion in our crazy world, more places to allow for vulnerability and non judgement. All of this is connected to mental health. I want to provide that space! More people should want to provide that type of space.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I started this journey to get unstuck. Now, I’m meeting so many inspiring people who are teaching me (indirectly) how to inspire others. I am not a coach or a therapist, but I do want to become a voice in the personal development and growth space. I feel my story could help others learn to never give up, that there is hope again and possibilities are all around us once we can shift our mindset and be more open. And even in the darkest of moments you will eventually find that light that takes you into your new chapter with grace and confidence. You will reestablish a relationship with your self-worth again and become that driving force that always existed within. 

You can follow Traci’s journey on her blog Let’s Get Unstuck, as well as her Substack.

Moving Forward with Our Mental Health

Nathan Smith11 Comments

What do you say when you feel like you have nothing to say? As the saying goes: “something is better than nothing.”

It’s no secret that lately, I’m not writing here as often as I used to (I’ve actually written about that specific feeling, funny enough). There are a million and one reasons as to why I haven’t been doing so. There is, of course, the *gestures vaguely everywhere* of it all. Living in the United States in 2025 is…well, I don’t actually know how to put it into words. At least, without going on a long rant. If I did, maybe I would have been able to write something here in the past few months! But I digress.

But it’s not just that (although truly, that would be enough). Every now and then, I feel like I’ve plateaued in doing this project. When I started My Brain’s Not Broken, I was in my early 20’s, and just figuring out myself and my mental health. I had more bad days than good, and I felt like the blog was a place to figure out those challenges in real time.

Look, I won’t pretend that everything is all sunshine and rainbows these days. But I am much more confident about how I handle my anxiety and depression, and am confident in the tools I’ve acquired to help me deal with those challenges. I’ve become stronger, more confident, and more prepared to talk about my own mental health, and talk about mental health with other people. I’ve written it countless times on this blog: we are stronger together, and I am so thankful that I can add my story and my experience to the millions of people who experience mental health challenges every single year.

So this is my re-entry to the space. I don’t quite know what I’m doing, and I don’t quite know what my goal is. Since I started this blog, the world’s changed a great deal, and the contributing factors to the mental health crisis in America (and around the world) are much different than they used to be. Smart phones, AI, politics, pandemics – it’s almost hard to even remember the type of person I was back when this blog was started.

But that’s part of why projects like this matter. Because beyond offering tips, tricks, and advice, this blog is a chronology of my life and the major happenings in it. It’s my journey with mental health; my ups and downs, the joys and struggles. It’s captured my unique perspective at specific points in time. There are posts I can turn to when I need a boost. Posts that I’ll look back on and say, I can’t believe I wrote that (hopefully in a good way!). And while I know that this blog has never played the role of an online diary or anything like that, it’s been fascinating to see the way I’ve grown and changed over the years, through what I’ve written.

Mental health – as a topic, a public health issue – as a community – isn’t the same as it was when this project first started. It’s morphed, it’s changed. There have been good aspects to this, and there have been bad ones. We’ve hit milestones and faced serious setbacks; in this moment, it feels like it’s more setbacks than successes. So I will continue to write, and share my perspective on mental health – the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. Whether that makes a lick of difference in the vast abyss of the Internet, I do not know (most likely, no). But as long as I’m in this corner of the Internet, you can count on this being a space that prioritizes those things. Because mental health matters. I matter. And you matter. And these are important things that I never want us to forget.

How the 3-3-3 Rule Helped Me Manage Anxiety

Nathan Smith2 Comments

Over the years, I’ve learned many different techniques to help manage my anxiety. Some of them have proven to be extremely helpful (I’ve written before about the power of meditation and consistent exercise), while others have not always done the trick (I once tried to schedule a time for my anxiety – that was a long day!). Since I’m a firm believer that I should try something more than once when it comes to managing my anxiety, I try to make sure I give things a chance. While the first few times can be a little bumpy, sticking with some of these techniques have proven to be very valuable on my mental health journey. And that’s why I’d like to share more about the ‘3-3-3’ rule, how it’s helped me deal with anxiety, and how it can be a useful tool for you.

What is the 3-3-3 Rule?

The 3-3-3 rule is a popular grounding technique when someone’s experiencing anxiety symptoms. While some symptoms of anxiety are mental or emotional, symptoms can also be physical. It’s often those physical symptoms that can become very overwhelming when dealing with an anxiety or panic attack. When someone is feeling anxious, they can turn to the 3-3-3 rule to ground yourself and try to stop the spiral of anxious thoughts and feelings that might be happening. The specifics language isn’t always the same but generally speaking, it goes:

  • Notice three things you see around you
  • Identify three sounds that you hear
  • Move three parts of your body

That’s it! What I love about this rule is that it involves you using your senses, activating various parts of your body and encouraging them to slow down and take stock of the situation. There’s also no wrong way to do this. If three things you see around you are a floor, a ceiling, and a door, that’s okay. The act of identifying and naming those things can slow people down, taking them out of the moment they’re in. These actions are not meant to be complicated or solve your problems – they are simply meant to help slow down an anxiety spiral, or ground you in a moment where you might not feel all that present.

How the 3-3-3 Rule Has Helped Me

While I’d say this rule is relatively simple, it’s not always easy to put into action; you might not always know what’s going on when you’re experiencing an anxiety/panic attack. Thoughts might be difficult to put in the right order; confusion could set in. You might not feel comfortable in your own body, and everyday movements might seem foreign. And to be honest, that might not be the time for someone to tell you to use the 3-3-3 rule. Anxiety attacks have a tendency to make the simplest things seem like the most difficult, which is part of what makes the whole situation so frustrating.

I’ll be honest – when I’ve tried to do the 3-3-3 rule, I often fail in the fact that I don’t do all three steps. But it has helped me manage my anxiety in a big way and in fact, has changed the way I approach anxiety attacks. The point of this rule is not just to use your senses to ‘get out’ of the current moment; it’s recognizing that you might not be fully present, and it is trying to bring you back to that present moment. Maybe you name a bunch of items that are around you. Maybe you close your eyes and detect what you can hear or smell. Maybe you just tap your hands to your legs to remind yourself that you’re human. Over time, you might learn how anxiety attacks impact your body, and use this technique to confront those specific symptoms.

How to Put the 3-3-3 Rule to Use

Like most mental health techniques I’ve written about on this blog, there isn’t a wrong way to incorporate the 3-3-3 rule. The main goal of a grounding technique is to engage your senses, come back to the present moment, be within your body, and relieve yourself of overwhelming stress. However you do this (as long as you are doing this safely, it should be said!) is up to you. Ultimately, the 3-3-3 rule has had a tremendous impact on the way I view my anxiety, and I’d encourage anyone to explore it if they are struggling with anxiety symptoms.

Now I want to hear from you! Have you ever used the 3-3-3 rule to ground yourself? Are there other grounding techniques you’ve used that you’ve found effective? Let me know in the comments!

"Being able to be your true self is one of the strongest components of good mental health." Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy

Returning to Writing With a Renewed Focus

Nathan Smith3 Comments

Well, I’m back! It’s been several months, but I’m excited to be writing here again. I’ve taken breaks every now and then in the seven years since I started this blog; they are often unexpected and unscheduled, and I try to feel things out for the best time to return. In this case, I knew that I’d need to take a few months off from writing. At the same time, I expected to be getting back to it again in 2024, but that turned out not to be the case. And I am learning that not only is that okay, but it’s to be expected if I want to continue this project for as long as I am able to do so.

When I started My Brain’s Not Broken, I wanted to document my journey living with anxiety and depression. I was getting better at managing my symptoms, but there was still a lot I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand the number of ways that anxiety and depression impacted me. I didn’t understand just how vast the stigma surrounding mental health was – a stigma I’ve learned a lot about over the years. And I didn’t have any idea of the journey that writing would take me on.

One of the main reasons that I take breaks from writing is that I believe I don’t have much to say at the moment. As time passes, I feel even more strongly that this is the case. This time, though, was a little bit different. My life has been very busy since August, and I have had difficulty coming up with ideas and topics that I thought were worth sharing. While things have settled since then, I was still struggling to come up with post ideas. But the other day I remembered something that, time and again, has empowered me both in the mental health space, and as a human being.

Coming up with ideas for the blog hasn’t always been easy. Oftentimes, I feel like I am making things up as I go along. But there have also been times where I have been able to write several posts at a time; there have been times where the words pour out of me, where I am more than happy to share my perspective with whomever happens to visit this tiny corner of the Internet. And while I would prefer the latter to the former, both of these things are part of my experience as a writer, a mental health advocate, and a person.

So, like I have been doing for the past seven years, I am going to write what I know. I am going to write to my experience, and I am going to write from my own unique perspective. We all have our own stories to tell; over time, those stories may shift and change, but they are still ours. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and my mental healthy, in writing this blog. But as I have written time and time again, this is a lifelong journey – one I am proud to take part in.

But it’s not just my journey that I write about. According to the World Health Organization, one in eight people worldwide lives with a mental health disorder, a number that rises by millions every year. Despite all the awareness that’s been raised, all the progress we’ve seen, mental health continues to be a significant issue for everyone. We are all impacted by mental health challenges in some way and more we ignore it, the worse things will get.

So now, I am not just writing for myself. I’m writing to raise awareness; I’m writing to bring hope and joy to people who might feel lost and alone. I’m writing because mental health impacts everyone, and has the power to impact every aspect of our lives. The better we understand it, the better we understand ourselves and each other. We are stronger together, we are better together, and we are on this journey together. I’m glad to be back, and I hope you can join me for the ride.

How Anxiety Leads to Assumptions

Nathan Smith2 Comments

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about the impact that my experience with anxiety has on me. It impacts the way I see the world, the way I interact with it, and the way I interact with others. But after years of learning about myself and my anxiety, I’ve started to notice the patterns that my anxiety creates. One pattern in particular is how my anxiety can lead to making assumptions, and how those assumptions can create problems in my life that didn’t exist before. Anxiety can lead to assumptions and if we don’t make the connection, anxiety can lead you down a road of miscommunications and life being more difficult than it should be.

We all know that old saying about assumptions: “when you assume...” And the wordplay aside, this adage makes a good point. Assumptions, no matter what they’re about, can cause problems for everyone involved and despite our best efforts, we all make assumptions at some point or another. But assumptions can cause trouble when they guide our decision-making, and that’s where it’s important to acknowledge the relationship between anxiety, anticipation, and assumptions.

There’s a lot in this world that can make us anxious (thank you, GAD), but one of the things that can trigger anxiety is when we are confronted with the unknown. Oftentimes if we need an answer to a question or there’s a piece of information we can’t get the answer to, we get anxious. The anxiety itself isn’t a problem — it’s the fact that this anxiety leads to making assumptions, and then acting on those assumptions.

Anxiety is an interesting thing. Your brain can feel like it’s moving a million miles per hour but simultaneously, your body is staying still. You want to do five things at once and because of that, you do nothing. And in trying to deal with the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety, in feeling sped up and out of control, we can try to deal with a situation in the quickest way possible. And often, that solution is acting on assumptions.

Anxiety can take the form of thoughts, patterns and behaviors that impact our day-to-day lives. When left unchecked and unchallenged, these feelings can grow and fester in unhealthy ways. Knowing how my anxiety works hasn’t stopped me from having anxiety (unfortunately), but it has helped me understand myself more. I probably won’t stop making assumptions, but I’m hopeful that understanding the connection my anxiety has toward making assumptions will help me moving forward.

Making connections won’t always stop us from doing certain things, but it can help us learn patterns that have developed in our lives over the years. And in learning about these patterns, we can also unlearn them, and find a healthier way to see the world.

What do you think? Do you feel like you make a lot of assumptions in your day-to-day life? How does that impact your mental health?

Reflecting on the Idea of Permanent Solutions

Nathan Smith5 Comments

When it comes to problems and challenges in our lives, we all want the perfect solution. We want to know what we have to do or say to make the problem go away. Maybe we can buy a product that helps us overcome the challenge; other times, building a new routine is the way to go. Finding a solution to a problem is a daily occurrence for most people. It happens in every area of our life — and it is especially apparent when it comes to our mental health. But these solutions aren’t always permanent, and that’s the challenge that brings me to this blog post today.

Finding the Right Solution

So, what do I mean when I talk about mental health solutions? I’m using that term to describe all the things we do in our day-to-day life to take care of our mental health. While this includes activities like therapy, exercise and meditation, it goes beyond that. There are smaller choices we make every single day that impact our lives and our well-being, and finding mental health solutions, to me, means figuring out the best ways we can move through our day.

For example, my anxiety can make decision-making quite difficult. I also can feel pressure to communicate with people in the “right way” (spoiler alert: there isn’t one right way, as it turns out), or want to make sure I’m giving someone the correct answer every time they ask a question. Over the years, I’ve found solutions to these issues, both in terms of how I deal with the problem, but also in how I view it. And while I’ve spoken about these solutions in previous posts, it’s just as important to remember how to best approach these solutions. I’ve found that the most important thing to remember is that when it comes to our mental health challenges, not all solutions are permanent.

Embracing Impermanence

Embracing the idea of impermanent solutions is difficult. A permanent fix to our problems would be ideal: you identify the issue, you find a solution, and you make sure that when the problem comes up again, you remember how you solved it before. While that is all well and good for most problems, it doesn’t always work with mental health issues. And that is because not only does our mental health change, but we change. Sometimes, a solution that used to work for us doesn’t anymore. And that’s okay.

Maybe this post is just inspired by the meditation app I use, which places a heavy focus on the impermanence of things. I used to view this approach as troublesome and hard to navigate, but I’ve learned to embrace it. Every moment is different because we change, grow and adapt to new situations throughout our lives.

Focusing on What Works Best For You

But even though most solutions aren’t permanent when it comes to my mental health, there is a freedom in that. I used to think that if I gave up on something (a new mental health technique, a different type of therapy, etc.) when it came to my mental health, I was failing; that there was something wrong with me. I’ve now learned to have the courage and foresight to know that not every mental health tip is going to work for me and that when it stops working, I don’t have to keep banging my head against the wall until it does.

Now I do want to be clear that I’m not encouraging folks to make major life changes or major changes to their mental health plans without consulting anyone. It would not be good to stop proven solutions like medications or consistent talk therapy at the drop of a hat (in fact, stopping SSRI’s abruptly can be dangerous to your physical and mental health). This post serves more as a reminder that sometimes when things aren’t working, it’s okay to explore other solutions. Our mental health ebbs and flows throughout the course of our lives, and it’s important to respond to those changes when they occur.

And though it is likely that not all mental health solutions will work for us forever, it’s possible they will. Everyone’s mental health journey is different, and as long as you’re working to find healthy solutions that work for you, while respecting and being mindful of the people and world around us, you’re on the right path.

"After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution, and the soul's indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer." - William R. Alger