I feel like I’ve had nothing to say all week. I haven’t actually posted since last Tuesday, and that bothers me. Every time I’ve tried to brainstorm this week I’ve come up empty. The words I want to write just aren’t there, and I feel guilty. Why?
Maybe it’s because I feel like I owe it to my readers that I have something to say every week. Maybe I think I owe it to myself, I don’t know. But I have this innate feeling that by not writing, someone is missing out. There’s someone I could be reaching, but I’m not because there’s nothing for them to read.
I could chalk it up to the fact that I am finally off my medication and that’s what is affecting me – but that wouldn’t be true either. Truth be told, that process has been good so far (it’s only been a few days), and though it will be weeks until I am out of the woods I feel good about how it’s been going. Maybe I’m just making excuses for being lazy.
As a writer, what do you tell yourself when you have nothing to say? Do you remain silent, or do you try to conjure something out of nothing?
I’d liken this situation to fighting against mental illness. Sometimes the fight seems fruitless and that you’re getting nowhere. Sometimes you just want to remain quiet and won’t write again until you ‘feel like it.’ But if we all waited until we ‘felt like it’ to do something, things would never get done, goals would not be created and dreams would not be reached.
Sometimes success isn’t just in doing something well, but in doing something at all. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish with this post, but I know that I’m winning just by writing it at all. That might not mean much, but it means something to me. And isn’t that enough?
Is there something you want me to write about on the blog? Let me know in the comments or @brainsnotbroken on Twitter!