Sometime last year, I wrote about the post-vacation blues. I’d just gotten home from a trip to Texas and even though I go there every year (sometimes more than one), I was particularly down. Fast forward to this week: I once again visited Texas, and when I returned from my trip I felt a little bummed out. There were two key differences here, though. The first difference is that I was in Texas for my twin brother’s bachelor party (!!!), which of course is something I’ve waited my entire life for (being a twin). The second difference is that this time, while I am a little bummed out, it didn’t hit me as hard this week as it did then. And I’d like to expand on that second difference.
In my experience, part of feeling ‘meh’ about getting back to day-to-day activities after a trip has always been that I was pretty unsatisfied with what my day-to-day life looked like. I’ve used the word stagnant to describe my adult life more often than once (or ten times), and so that feeling is only exacerbated after a fun trip. Since I feel less stagnant these days, that ‘meh’ feeling isn’t as extreme as it’s been in the past.
Though not as extreme as the past, that feeling does still exist. This time, it’s put me in a bit of a haze as I try to wade back into the things I have to do in my life. Whether it’s work, exercise, writing, cleaning or running errands, I feel a little scatter-brained and don’t always have a sense of urgency when it comes to getting things done. I know this will go away with time, but being patient doesn’t seem to be the best way to handle this.
Since I feel scatter-brained a lot of the time in life anyway, I do have a plan. I just do things. It seems simple, right? But I’m the type of person who needs to feel that they understand what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. Otherwise, it’s hard to derive any meaning from that. So oftentimes, there are things I won’t do because I don’t have that feeling. I’m getting better, but it still happens.
But I don’t want to go through that right now, so I’m just going to do things without thinking about them. Taking in each task at work and dealing with them as they come in. Getting a haircut. Going grocery shopping. Cleaning my apartment. Am I doing what I want to do? I don’t know. Am I enjoying it? Maybe. But since it’s more important that I do these things, that’s where the focus is.
For what it’s worth, that haze is fading away faster than it has in the past. I guess the challenge will be that I’ll have to do it all again in a month for the twin’s wedding (!!!!). But you know what? Bring it on.