meditation

Over the years, I’ve learned many different techniques to help manage my anxiety. Some of them have proven to be extremely helpful (I’ve written before about the power of meditation and consistent exercise), while others have not always done the trick (I once tried to schedule a time for my anxiety – that was a long day!). Since I’m a firm believer that I should try something more than once when it comes to managing my anxiety, I try to make sure I give things a chance. While the first few times can be a little bumpy, sticking with some of these techniques have proven to be very valuable on my mental health journey. And that’s why I’d like to share more about the ‘3-3-3’ rule, how it’s helped me deal with anxiety, and how it can be a useful tool for you.

What is the 3-3-3 Rule?

The 3-3-3 rule is a popular grounding technique when someone’s experiencing anxiety symptoms. While some symptoms of anxiety are mental or emotional, symptoms can also be physical. It’s often those physical symptoms that can become very overwhelming when dealing with an anxiety or panic attack. When someone is feeling anxious, they can turn to the 3-3-3 rule to ground yourself and try to stop the spiral of anxious thoughts and feelings that might be happening. The specifics language isn’t always the same but generally speaking, it goes:

Notice three things you see around you
Identify three sounds that you hear
Move three parts of your body

That’s it! What I love about this rule is that it involves you using your senses, activating various parts of your body and encouraging them to slow down and take stock of the situation. There’s also no wrong way to do this. If three things you see around you are a floor, a ceiling, and a door, that’s okay. The act of identifying and naming those things can slow people down, taking them out of the moment they’re in. These actions are not meant to be complicated or solve your problems – they are simply meant to help slow down an anxiety spiral, or ground you in a moment where you might not feel all that present.

How the 3-3-3 Rule Has Helped Me

While I’d say this rule is relatively simple, it’s not always easy to put into action; you might not always know what’s going on when you’re experiencing an anxiety/panic attack. Thoughts might be difficult to put in the right order; confusion could set in. You might not feel comfortable in your own body, and everyday movements might seem foreign. And to be honest, that might not be the time for someone to tell you to use the 3-3-3 rule. Anxiety attacks have a tendency to make the simplest things seem like the most difficult, which is part of what makes the whole situation so frustrating.

I’ll be honest – when I’ve tried to do the 3-3-3 rule, I often fail in the fact that I don’t do all three steps. But it has helped me manage my anxiety in a big way and in fact, has changed the way I approach anxiety attacks. The point of this rule is not just to use your senses to ‘get out’ of the current moment; it’s recognizing that you might not be fully present, and it is trying to bring you back to that present moment. Maybe you name a bunch of items that are around you. Maybe you close your eyes and detect what you can hear or smell. Maybe you just tap your hands to your legs to remind yourself that you’re human. Over time, you might learn how anxiety attacks impact your body, and use this technique to confront those specific symptoms.

How to Put the 3-3-3 Rule to Use

Like most mental health techniques I’ve written about on this blog, there isn’t a wrong way to incorporate the 3-3-3 rule. The main goal of a grounding technique is to engage your senses, come back to the present moment, be within your body, and relieve yourself of overwhelming stress. However you do this (as long as you are doing this safely, it should be said!) is up to you. Ultimately, the 3-3-3 rule has had a tremendous impact on the way I view my anxiety, and I’d encourage anyone to explore it if they are struggling with anxiety symptoms.

Now I want to hear from you! Have you ever used the 3-3-3 rule to ground yourself? Are there other grounding techniques you’ve used that you’ve found effective? Let me know in the comments!

"Being able to be your true self is one of the strongest components of good mental health." Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy

Meditation has never come easy to me. I’ve done it off and on for years, but I have never been able to get into any sort of consistency when it came to meditating on a daily, even regular, basis.

But it’s so simple, you’re probably thinking. And as a concept, you’re totally right. You sit still and let your mind wander. You focus on your breathing and develop heightened awareness. Most people end meditation feeling way more at peace than they did when they started (I’d say all, but you never know!). But not me.

Meditation for an Anxious Mind

Part of my meditation problems are due to my anxiety. GAD means that thoughts are filling your head constantly. They don’t give you time to pause and process – it’s just one thought after another, flooding your brain with both important and unimportant thoughts. Since my best approach to dealing with anxious thoughts is to keep my mind busy with other creative outlets (writing, work, etc.), being in a situation where my mind is free to roam has never really helped. Thinking all through meditation makes that meditation pretty counterintuitive, so it’s hard to gain any momentum from repetitive meditation.

Not Having the Right Goals

Like other tools in my mental health toolkit, I think I’ve been looking at meditation all wrong. I expected every session to end with me feeling refreshed, happy and better about myself. When that didn’t happen, I blamed meditation as being something that ‘didn’t work.’ I was looking for meditation to have some sort of instant impact that made my mental illness go away. As with any habit, my skills would undoubtedly grow stronger with time as I meditated more. But I didn’t have patience, and I didn’t have the right goals. No wonder it didn’t work out.

Like exercising, journaling and everything else I do to be mentally healthy, meditation can be a tool in the chest rather than the be-all and end-all of my mental health. This new outlook might be what I need to make it work this time.

I Need Your Help

I’d like to start meditating on a daily basis. I think that, with the right approach and with the right goals in mind, meditation can be something that I incorporate into my daily routine. But how should I meditate?

In the past I have used several apps, including Headspace, but they didn’t work for me. However, now that I have this new approach I am willing to try things that didn’t work for me before. I’m open to suggestions, so let me know in the comments how you meditate. I need all the help I can get!

Pema Chodron