My Brain's Not Broken

Well friends, we made it to summer! Year in and year out, May remains one of the busiest months of the year. This year was no exception; it felt like every day brought something new. Another task to complete, another new task popping up to add to the list. When May ends, I try to take a deep breath and resettle myself. When we can take a moment for ourselves before jumping into something new, it can make a world of difference.

Transitions aren’t always easy, especially during changing seasons. Sometimes it’s because of a swift change in routine or schedule. Other times, it’s because the weather has shifted, which can change the makeup of our day. Our routines can change in a matter of days, and that can be a difficult change to make.

When I fall into a routine, it can feel like my life is only heading in one direction. I know that’s not the truth, but that is how it can feel. Whether that routine lasts a week or many months, we can fall into habits rather easily. Before we know it, we’re shocked that something has disrupted our routine.

That’s often how I feel at the end of May. This month, I felt like I was jumping from one thing another. My attention was often one eye on the present and one eye on the future. It wasn’t that there was too much going on – rather, it felt like there was a constant stream of things and information.

As it often happens when things are busy, there can also be a big letdown when that time is done. Right now, that’s what June looks like to me. There are things I’m looking forward to and plans I’m going to make but compared to May, this month feels…light. It feels like I’m not doing enough. And without even thinking about it, I’m judging myself and feeling less than.

When it comes to my anxiety, a quote often springs to mind: “comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparison is something that often feeds on itself. Without meaning to, we can put down or judge our own lives in a matter or moments. And sometimes, there’s no limit to what comparisons we make and what conclusions we jump to – especially when our mental health isn’t where we’d like it to be.

Knowing that comparing will take away some of my joy, I’m hoping to step into this month in a different way. I would like to be more relaxed with my approach to things, to stay in the present as much as I can. There are times in life where everything feels like it’s moving so fast, and we rush right through it. Even still, there are times where life isn’t actually moving that fast – and there we are, still rushing through it!

I’m hoping to go a little more slowly this month, and try to find moments to be present where I can. If you have the time this month, I encourage you to do the same. There are ebbs and flows to life, and something I’ve learned that’s made life rich is to go with that flow.