How I Misunderstood the Meaning of Rest

It’s the wintertime, which means that we’re all tired, and the desire to do anything is as frozen as the weather. I often write about how challenging the wintertime can be for our mental health, and it happens every year. Like seasons, we go through our own cycles, reaching the same points across the calendar year. Even though January has become known as a time of resolutions and rebirth, I enjoy pushing back on that. To me, January is a time for rest. But despite feeling this way, I don’t think I’ve been going about it the right way. Reflecting on this has led me to a new way of thinking for how – and why – I need my rest.

Why do we rest? At first glance, this question has a simple answer: we need it to function. Rest has several benefits for our quality of life, for certain (sounds like a good idea for a future post!). But at the end of the day, humans need rest to be our best possible selves.

So, given that we all know how important rest is, why don’t we get enough of it? According to the results of the “Rest Test,” a survey completed by Durham University,

more than “two-thirds of the public would like more rest…the study also revealed that nearly a third of respondents said they need more rest than the average person, while 10 percent think they need less.”

Science Daily

This survey, which was completed by more than 18,000 people in 134 different countries, speaks volumes about our view of rest as a society. We need rest, and we’re not getting it.

Looking inward, I thought about why I rest. I know the benefits of rest. It improves my health (physical, mental, emotional, etc.); calms me down when I’m riddled with anxiety; and plays a vital role in my mental health toolkit. But here’s where I’ve been wrong in my thinking. Almost 100% of the time, I use rest as a tool. And while I think it’s a good tool, it shouldn’t only be used that way.

In fact, when I think about it, I’m often resting so that, when I’m done, I can immediately go do something else. This doesn’t foster a healthy relationship with rest, and it puts undue pressure on me. My rest needs to be “good” rest, otherwise I won’t be able to do what I want to do. I’m not resting for the sake of it, which can take away the power and benefits of doing it in the first place.

In this era of productivity and life-hacking, I’m concerned that rest often gets misappropriated. Why should I be looking to get the most out of resting my body? What’s the point of rushing through a process that restores my cognitive and physical health? What are we doing here?

I know a large part of this is because of the time of year. I’ve started to think of winter as my time of hibernation, and rest is key to that hibernation. But it’s an important thing to reflect on all year-round. As I move through the winter, I am hoping to reassess my relationship with rest – why I do it, how I do it, and what I’m trying to accomplish. In doing so, I hope that not only can I develop a healthier relationship with rest, but with myself.

I’d love to hear from you on this topic! How do you think we view rest in today’s world? Why do you think people aren’t getting the rest they need? Do you think you’re getting the rest you need?

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein

A Reflection on Comfort Zones

When you read the words comfort zone, what comes to mind? You might think of the way people tell us to leave them; you might wonder if you’re in one right now. A comfort zone might not be a place at all; it could be a feeling or a moment in time. It could even be a way of doing things you’re comfortable with, a routine or rhythm. Every year around this time, the idea of comfort zones pops into my head. I reflect on my own, but I also think about the idea itself. Why is it so important that we go out of our comfort zones, and why do we talk about it all the time?

As with many of the terms I talk about on this blog, I like to start with a definition. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a comfort zone is defined as:

“A situation in which you feel comfortable and in which your ability and determination are not being tested.”

Cambridge Dictionary

When I think about how often I’m in my comfort zone, I have a hard time coming up with a good answer. It’s possible (if not probable) that I’m in my comfort zone a majority of the time. It makes sense; people have their daily routines, and finding a rhythm in my daily life is important to me. For some people, the problem might not be that they’re stuck in their comfort zone; it could be that they can’t even determine where that is.

Sometimes, we don’t know we’re in our comfort zone unless we’re removed from it. And that removal can be abrupt, swift, and uncomfortable. But it’s also where we can find out new things about ourselves, who we are, and what helps us grow. It’s that growth that can provide meaningful change in our lives, that can move us to take charge and take action.

As we start the new year, it would be easy for me to write a post urging you to get out of your comfort zone. How it’s important to get out of our comfort zones, why it’s necessary for growth, and why enough of us don’t do it. But that type of post leaves out a key aspect of comfort zones, and about change in general. Creating change and getting out of your comfort zone can happen to you, just as much as you can make it happen yourself. Encouraging someone to ‘get out of their comfort zone,’ while helpful, puts the onus on a person to create change (which is hard to do).

When it comes to comfort zones, we all have different challenges to face. What might feel impossible for one person is easy for someone else. But the thing is, if you’re looking to get out of your comfort zone, I’d encourage you to look for the opportunities that will inevitably come your way. Because the truth is, opportunities to get outside your comfort zone exist all around us – we just need to keep our eyes and hearts open for these moments.

What is your take on comfort zones? Do you think they help people grow, or do they cause stress and create burdens? Why do you think it’s so important that we break out of them? Let me know in the comments!

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." - Abraham Maslow

Mental Health Tips and Reminders to Start 2024

Hello friends, and Happy New Year! Since I’ve written several New Year’s posts on this blog, I thought I’d try my hand at it again in 2024. In past years, my messages around the new year have varied greatly. Early on in this blog’s history, I wrote about my rejection of New Year’s resolutions and the pressure they put on us. A few years ago, I reflected on how I’d like to start the new year off right. And last year, I reflected on how I wanted to approach 2023. In reading these posts, I’ve come to see the ways I’ve changed (and yes, grown) in the years of writing this blog. This year, I’d like to take the focus off me and put it back on mental health. There are many ways we can try to grow in the new year, but how can we do it with our mental health? Here are five mental health tips as you build and grow your mental wellness in 2024.

Start where you are.

When it comes to mental health and wellness, it’s important to know where to start. And the fact is, we’re all at different points on our mental health journeys — and that’s okay. Not only is it okay, but it’s as it should be. I can’t tell you how many times I grew frustrated when I would fail at something related to my mental health while seeing someone else succeed. I thought I was doing something wrong when in fact, it just wasn’t the right time for me. Now is the time for an honest assessment: how is your mental health? Are you prioritizing it in the way you deserve? This looks different for everyone, so it’s important to be honest and open with yourself.

Awareness is just the first step.

One of the most important things I’ve learned about mental health is that when we discover something about ourselves we’d like to work on, it doesn’t magically go away. That’s often when the real work begins. Many of us have experienced cognitive distortions, negative thoughts and other mental health challenges for years without fully understanding what they are. Awareness is valuable, but it’s not a cure. Once I accepted this, it was easier to move forward.

There will be bumps in the road.

There’s a common misconception that once someone starts working on their mental health, life will get…easier, let’s say. Or that we’ve “fixed” the problem because we’ve acknowledged that something isn’t as it should be. And while we should give people their flowers for choosing themselves and prioritizing mental health, I wouldn’t want someone to think that’s all they have to do. There will be bumps along the way, the same way there are for so many things we do in life. Mental health is a lifelong journey, and accepting that there will be both ups and downs helps in the long run.

Find techniques that work for YOU.

This point is very important to me because it’s one of my core beliefs surrounding mental health. In the culture we’ve created, things become popular when they work for a wide number of people, which can create unrealistic expectations. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten frustrated with a “life hack” or “mental health tip” that seemed to work for so many people – but not me! It’s taken a long time to come to the understanding that I don’t need to find things that “work”; I need to find what works for me. Once I shifted that lens, I was able to focus more on myself, making my mental health more manageable.

Not everything is relevant to you – and that’s okay

This is similar to what I just wrote, but I’d like to elaborate because it’s an important point to make. Not everything we learn about mental health will be relevant for us. There are so many different tips and tricks, countless diagnoses and ways to evaluate mental health and wellness, and various ways to approach all these challenges. While you do want to focus on your own mental health, seeing the bigger picture is extremely valuable for everyone. Mental health impacts everyone, and the more we connect the dots, the more we can see how it helps shape the world around us.

Now, over to you! What mental health tips would you like to share as we start another new year? Let me know in the comments below!

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." - Hal Borland