mental wellness

Why I Work On My Mental Health

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I’m not sure how many other people do this, but I get hyper-fixated on what I do in my day-to-day life. I constantly analyze my habits, hobbies, and what I choose to do (or not do) during my day. Whether it’s for work or fun, I’m in a near-constant state of thought, lost in my head about my choices. But in all this thinking, I forget that I don’t always have control over what impacts my mental health, which is what I’d like to talk about today.

This post serves as a reminder of sorts, as I’m sure it’s something I’ve written about sometime in the last five years. But even if it is, it feels like a reminder I need every so often. When your life starts to find its rhythm, things are great. You feel comfortable like you’ve finally figured it out, and everything seems to flow. It’s a nice feeling, but it can often create problems when that flow gets interrupted.

When my mental health is in a good place and something comes along to disrupt that, I won’t lie: I get upset at myself. I get upset at the situation, and I get upset that I’m not in a good mood anymore. But upon reflection, this is a gross misunderstanding of why I’ve built up my mental health.

For a long time, I thought of mental health as a synonym for being happy. When people focus on their mental health they’re usually happier, right? This led me to conclude that focusing on my mental health would lead to a better mood and a happier life.

For several reasons, this assumption wasn’t helpful and didn’t work. Mental health is more than just trying to “be happy.” It’s not a hack, it’s not a secret, and it’s not a one-stop shop. Working on ourselves takes time and effort, and we don’t always see results the way we think we will. I thought improving my mental wellness would stop the storms from coming. The storms of anxiety attacks, days of depression, and all the ways mental illness challenges us. But I was coming at this problem from the wrong angle. Improving my mental wellness hasn’t stopped the storm from coming. Rather, it’s allowed me to weather the storm, to make it through until the sun shines again.

Sometimes, for reasons you can’t control, the world will put you in a bad mood. It will put you in a sad mood, or cause you pain and anguish. This might sound dramatic, but it’s the truth. And it’s in these moments that we can lean on what we’ve learned, and how we’ve grown. I often see my growth not because of the positive moments, but because of the difficult ones.

Whether this post finds you in a good mood or a bad one, I hope it provides the same reminder that it did for me. And even though we can’t control everything, the work we do on ourselves matters, because we matter. I can try and control every aspect of my day, and something can still come out of nowhere and create a challenge. That’s when I can lean on what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown to handle the situation in front of me. It doesn’t always work out, but this approach has brought more good than bad in my life, and that’s good enough for me.

"Each problem that I solved became a rule, which served afterwards to solve other problems." - Rene Descartes

Mental Health Tips and Reminders to Start 2024

Nathan Smith6 Comments

Hello friends, and Happy New Year! Since I’ve written several New Year’s posts on this blog, I thought I’d try my hand at it again in 2024. In past years, my messages around the new year have varied greatly. Early on in this blog’s history, I wrote about my rejection of New Year’s resolutions and the pressure they put on us. A few years ago, I reflected on how I’d like to start the new year off right. And last year, I reflected on how I wanted to approach 2023. In reading these posts, I’ve come to see the ways I’ve changed (and yes, grown) in the years of writing this blog. This year, I’d like to take the focus off me and put it back on mental health. There are many ways we can try to grow in the new year, but how can we do it with our mental health? Here are five mental health tips as you build and grow your mental wellness in 2024.

Start where you are.

When it comes to mental health and wellness, it’s important to know where to start. And the fact is, we’re all at different points on our mental health journeys — and that’s okay. Not only is it okay, but it’s as it should be. I can’t tell you how many times I grew frustrated when I would fail at something related to my mental health while seeing someone else succeed. I thought I was doing something wrong when in fact, it just wasn’t the right time for me. Now is the time for an honest assessment: how is your mental health? Are you prioritizing it in the way you deserve? This looks different for everyone, so it’s important to be honest and open with yourself.

Awareness is just the first step.

One of the most important things I’ve learned about mental health is that when we discover something about ourselves we’d like to work on, it doesn’t magically go away. That’s often when the real work begins. Many of us have experienced cognitive distortions, negative thoughts and other mental health challenges for years without fully understanding what they are. Awareness is valuable, but it’s not a cure. Once I accepted this, it was easier to move forward.

There will be bumps in the road.

There’s a common misconception that once someone starts working on their mental health, life will get…easier, let’s say. Or that we’ve “fixed” the problem because we’ve acknowledged that something isn’t as it should be. And while we should give people their flowers for choosing themselves and prioritizing mental health, I wouldn’t want someone to think that’s all they have to do. There will be bumps along the way, the same way there are for so many things we do in life. Mental health is a lifelong journey, and accepting that there will be both ups and downs helps in the long run.

Find techniques that work for YOU.

This point is very important to me because it’s one of my core beliefs surrounding mental health. In the culture we’ve created, things become popular when they work for a wide number of people, which can create unrealistic expectations. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten frustrated with a “life hack” or “mental health tip” that seemed to work for so many people – but not me! It’s taken a long time to come to the understanding that I don’t need to find things that “work”; I need to find what works for me. Once I shifted that lens, I was able to focus more on myself, making my mental health more manageable.

Not everything is relevant to you – and that’s okay

This is similar to what I just wrote, but I’d like to elaborate because it’s an important point to make. Not everything we learn about mental health will be relevant for us. There are so many different tips and tricks, countless diagnoses and ways to evaluate mental health and wellness, and various ways to approach all these challenges. While you do want to focus on your own mental health, seeing the bigger picture is extremely valuable for everyone. Mental health impacts everyone, and the more we connect the dots, the more we can see how it helps shape the world around us.

Now, over to you! What mental health tips would you like to share as we start another new year? Let me know in the comments below!

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." - Hal Borland

The Learning Curve of Mental Health

Nathan SmithLeave a comment

When it comes to my mental health, one thing I can always count on is that it won’t be too long before I learn something new. Sometimes it’s a mental health or psychological term. Other times it’s a phrase, or a more accurate description than one I’d been using. After ten years of living with depression and anxiety, there’s still a lot to learn. And while there are many ways to learn these lessons, today I want to reflect on how experience is often the best teacher.

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Remembering That I Have A Moment

Nathan Smith2 Comments

After writing a post earlier this week about how busy I feel, I wanted to reflect more. Part of the reason I felt busy was because there was a part of me that thought I shouldn’t be busy. That at this point in time, I wasn’t supposed to be doing what I was doing. This part of me ignored what was actually going on in my life. Instead, it was pursuing an unrealistic vision of a life I don’t lead, doing things I don’t do.

These thoughts led me to feeling like I had no time for anything, to the point where I couldn’t take a moment to myself. But, as it turns out, I do have that time. In fact, I’ve always had that time – and it’s that reminder that I want to reflect on today.

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On the Concept of Slowing Down

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Today’s post will be short but sweet. Many of my posts are written in advance or pre-scheduled, which I enjoy doing. But sometimes I want to share how I’m feeling in the moment, which requires some quick thinking and reflecting. So, in the midst of a very busy time in my life, I wanted to reflect on the importance of slowing down.

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Finding the Right Words

Nathan Smith2 Comments

How would you describe yourself? What words would you use? Would you describe yourself using full sentences, or create a list of adjectives? When I think about the way I describe myself, my brain freezes. It’s not that I’m afraid of using the wrong words, of talking about myself in a way that’s disingenuous. Actually, it’s the opposite; I’m worried I won’t include words that would clearly state who I am. I get scared that there’s a part of me that will never be known, things that will never be shared.

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By the Numbers: The State of Mental Health in the US in 2023

Nathan Smith2 Comments

Every year during Mental Health Awareness Month, I find statistics and data that help show the state of mental health in the United States. Mental illness and mental health challenges are extremely prevalent in today’s world, and diving into the data is one of the clearest ways to show that. The more we can rely on the numbers, the sooner we can stop relying on assumptions and anecdotal evidence to talk about mental health. Here’s the most recent data I could find about mental health in 2023.

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Breaking Down Mental Health Terms: Understanding Symptoms

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Today, I want to talk about symptoms. When it comes to mental health terms, I’d guess that the word “symptoms” is very well-known. Everyone has experienced an illness, or feeling unwell, at some point in their lives. We are told to look out for symptoms and when we see them, to stop what we’re doing and get help. Most often, what we’re told to do is rest. But when our symptoms aren’t always physical, or if those around us can’t see our symptoms, what do we do?

What Are Symptoms of Mental Health Issues?

As is often the case on this recurring feature of My Brain’s Not Broken, we start with a definition. Per the Cambridge Dictionary, a symptom is defined as: “any feeling of illness or physical or mental change that is caused by a particular disease.” Nothing new to see here, right? But I’d also like to direct you to an alternative definition of symptom, also from Cambridge: “any single problem that is caused by and shows a more serious and general problem.”

There are many health issues in life that involve immediate fixes. Do you have a cavity? Get it filled. Scrape your elbow? You put a band-aid on and wait for it to heal. You get sick? Don’t leave your bed. But when a symptom of mental illness is part of a larger mental health issue, the solution feels less direct. The symptoms of depression, anxiety and so many other mental illnesses have been discussed for years. Still, people look past that and connect symptoms with physical illnesses.

What Do Mental Health Symptoms Look Like?

Whether you’ve read it on My Brain’s Not Broken or another mental health blog, symptoms of mental health issues aren’t anything new. I don’t need to sit here listing the litany of symptoms of mental health diagnoses. But what is still misunderstood about mental illness is how those symptoms exist. It took a long time to understand that my depression and anxiety not only impact my mental health, but my physical health as well.

We tend to think of symptoms as things that exist for a short time but once they’re recognized and treated, go away. But when it comes to mental health, that isn’t always the case. I’ve learned about so many symptoms of my mental health challenges over the years. I’ve come to understand how they manifest themselves, when they most often appear and what triggers these moments. Despite that, these symptoms have continued to ebb and flow in the way they impact my life. It’s not as simple as bandaging it up, getting some rest or rubbing some dirt on it. Mental health symptoms are complicated, and underestimating that power is a big mistake.

What Can We Do About Them?

Here it is, the million dollar question: what can we do when it comes to dealing with symptoms of mental illness? The first thing I hope people do is deal with these symptoms in the same way they’d deal with a physical illness. If you think you have symptoms of a more serious issue, seek help. If your symptoms are getting in the way of you living your life, seek help.

People will go to the doctor for all sorts of reasons, but won’t see a mental health professional until they’ve struggled for years. This cycle has to stop. When we experience symptoms of a health issue over and over again, it’s okay to admit that something isn’t as it should be. Admitting it, understanding it and seeking help are the first things we should do. The more we understand how symptoms work and develop a healthy attitude toward them, the better we’re set up for success. Symptoms are one more piece of the puzzle to our mental wellness and the more we see it that way, the better off we are.

It’s taken me years to learn about my own symptoms and how they show up in my life – what about you? What is one of the most challenging things about dealing with your symptoms? Let me know in the comments!

Breaking Down Mental Health Terms: What is a Thought Spiral?

Nathan Smith4 Comments

Over the years, I’ve learned a number of words, phrases and definitions that have helped me understand my own mental health. Some of these are connected to mental illness or medicine, while others are connected to mental wellness. In this recurring series, I break down some of the mental health terms I’ve learned over the years. Today, I’ll be breaking down thought spirals: what they are, what they look like and what we can do about them.

What is a Thought Spiral?

There are many other names it goes by (anxiety spiral, downward spiral, spiraling thoughts) but simply put, a thought spiral is a series of thoughts that become increasingly overwhelming as a person gets stuck on them. They are typically linked to anxiety and anxious thoughts, but thought spirals can also exist when people are experiencing depression or other mental illness.

Another similar term (or perspective to think about this term) are the cognitive distortions catastrophic thinking and magnification. Both of these cognitive distortions can happen when a person’s thoughts have been spiraling out of control. Whether they are becoming increasingly overwhelming or unrealistic, our thoughts can spiral out of control and lead us into believing things that are simply untrue. When thoughts turn from rational to irrational, it’s time to take a look at what’s happening in our brain.

What Does a Thought Spiral Look Like?

One of the tricky things about thought spirals (at least for me) is how they can sneak up on us. Sometimes our thoughts will lay dormant, not bothering us at all. But then an intrusive or negative thought could enter our brains and if we’re unwilling or unable to acknowledge it, it gets stuck in our head. Before you know it, one thought has piled on another, and your thoughts are spiraling in a much more negative or overwhelming direction than you’d anticipated.

An excellent example of a thought spiral (image via guelphtherapist.ca)

As someone who has to be aware of thought spirals on a daily basis, I’ve gained a better sense of when I’m susceptible to thought spirals. Simply put, there are just some roads of thinking I don’t need to go down because I know what could happen. That doesn’t mean I’m always successful, but that bit of awareness has helped my mental wellness in ways that are invaluable. Thought spirals have the same method, but the unique properties of it – what those thoughts are, and how they’re triggered – will look different for everyone.

What Can We Do About It?

In my opinion, the most important thing we can do when it comes to this topic is to be as open and honest as we can. I think that all of us should be aware of thought spirals because they can happen to anyone. Sometimes I feel like my anxiety or depression might make me more susceptible to thought spirals. But also, anyone can land in a situation where they aren’t thinking as clearly as usual.

Recognizing a thought spiral isn’t always easy, but awareness is the first step. If you notice when your thoughts are getting increasingly overwhelming, name it and acknowledge it. When I can name or define something about my mental health, the challenge to overcome that obstacle eases. Be on the lookout for an upcoming post about other tips and techniques for dealing with thought spirals but in the meantime, I hope that awareness is helpful!

For a long time, I experienced thought spirals but never knew what they were. Now I want to hear from you! Have you heard of thought spirals, or do you know them by another name? What is/was your experience with them? Let me know in the comments!

A Reminder About Healthy Foundations

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Earlier this week, I wrote about how everything we do serves a purpose when it comes to our health and wellness. I focused on physical exercise and my therapy sessions, but it applies to all areas of life. Each activity can serve a different purpose, and each moment can help us in a different way. Today, I want to elaborate further on that point because something else needs to be shared along with it. In the same way everything serves a purpose, there’s not one thing we need to do that will “solve” our mental health. There’s no magical elixir that will solve all our issues. It may sound obvious but it’s often forgotten, which is why that’s the reminder I want to share in this post.

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