mental illness

A Reflection on Comfort Zones

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When you read the words comfort zone, what comes to mind? You might think of the way people tell us to leave them; you might wonder if you’re in one right now. A comfort zone might not be a place at all; it could be a feeling or a moment in time. It could even be a way of doing things you’re comfortable with, a routine or rhythm. Every year around this time, the idea of comfort zones pops into my head. I reflect on my own, but I also think about the idea itself. Why is it so important that we go out of our comfort zones, and why do we talk about it all the time?

As with many of the terms I talk about on this blog, I like to start with a definition. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a comfort zone is defined as:

“A situation in which you feel comfortable and in which your ability and determination are not being tested.”

Cambridge Dictionary

When I think about how often I’m in my comfort zone, I have a hard time coming up with a good answer. It’s possible (if not probable) that I’m in my comfort zone a majority of the time. It makes sense; people have their daily routines, and finding a rhythm in my daily life is important to me. For some people, the problem might not be that they’re stuck in their comfort zone; it could be that they can’t even determine where that is.

Sometimes, we don’t know we’re in our comfort zone unless we’re removed from it. And that removal can be abrupt, swift, and uncomfortable. But it’s also where we can find out new things about ourselves, who we are, and what helps us grow. It’s that growth that can provide meaningful change in our lives, that can move us to take charge and take action.

As we start the new year, it would be easy for me to write a post urging you to get out of your comfort zone. How it’s important to get out of our comfort zones, why it’s necessary for growth, and why enough of us don’t do it. But that type of post leaves out a key aspect of comfort zones, and about change in general. Creating change and getting out of your comfort zone can happen to you, just as much as you can make it happen yourself. Encouraging someone to ‘get out of their comfort zone,’ while helpful, puts the onus on a person to create change (which is hard to do).

When it comes to comfort zones, we all have different challenges to face. What might feel impossible for one person is easy for someone else. But the thing is, if you’re looking to get out of your comfort zone, I’d encourage you to look for the opportunities that will inevitably come your way. Because the truth is, opportunities to get outside your comfort zone exist all around us – we just need to keep our eyes and hearts open for these moments.

What is your take on comfort zones? Do you think they help people grow, or do they cause stress and create burdens? Why do you think it’s so important that we break out of them? Let me know in the comments!

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." - Abraham Maslow

How the Winter Months Impact Our Mental Health

Nathan Smith1 Comment

Every winter, I write a version of this post. I wrote it last year…and the year before…and the year before. Sometimes, the post comes in November; other times, it’s not until January. But every year, without fail, the winter season starts to impact me negatively. Maybe it’s the fact that the sun sets before I’m finished with my work day. It could be that some years, the holidays are more challenging than usual. Sometimes it’s just the cold if I’m being perfectly honest. Regardless, the wintertime brings about unique challenges, something that’s worth remembering this time of year.

It took me many years to learn that for me, the winter months always hit my mental health extra hard. It was more difficult to maintain wellness, and harder to keep a positive attitude around my mental health journey. I assumed that since I had depression year-round, there’s no reason that it would be worse, right? Wrong. Not that it needs to be said on this blog, but seasonal depression is real. And it was surprising to learn that during this time of year, some symptoms of depression were triggered more often than usual.

In researching seasonal depression, I found some interesting statistics that are worth sharing. According to the American Psychiatric Association, “[a]bout 5 percent of adults in the U.S. experience Season Affective Disorder (SAD), and it typically lasts about 40 percent of the year.” They also noted that while “SAD may begin at any age…it typically starts when a person is between ages 18 and 30.”

That might not sound like a large group, but that’s tens of millions of people who experience added mental health challenges for a large portion of the calendar year. One thing I’ve learned in the many years writing this blog is how our mental health is impacted by the world around us. The winter months, and the holiday season in particular, create unique challenges that don’t exist at other times of the year. Whether you experience SAD or feel your mental health issues become exacerbated during the winter, both are equally valid and deserve to be treated as such.

There are several ways to effectively treat SAD, as well as the many other added mental health challenges of winter (which I hope to cover in a future blog post), but that’s not what I’d like my main takeaway to be today. Instead, I hope this post serves as a reminder to be kind to ourselves this time of year. We’re up against a lot, and the stress and frantic pace of this time of year can make us feel like we’re not doing enough. For some people, not doing enough equals not being enough, and I want to shut that thinking down as quickly as possible.

As we head into a busy time of year, I hope you remember to be gentle with yourself. Your mental health matters and for some people, it matters more this time of year. I’d also encourage anyone who’s struggling with their mental health to take this time to reach out to someone if they feel comfortable. This is a time of year when people connect, reconnect, and get the chance to spend time with people they don’t see as often — maybe this is your chance to share something you haven’t been able to before.

Regardless, I hope that you remember the added challenges of winter. If you need to do even more than usual to look after your mental wellness, that’s alright – I’ll be doing the same! At the end of the day, we need to do what we can to take care of ourselves, and that can change daily. And not only is that okay, but it’s invaluable to our mental health.

Now I want to hear from you! How do you take care of your mental health during the wintertime? Do you do anything you don’t normally do throughout the year?

"Wisdom comes with winters." - Oscar Wilde

Embracing Imperfection: The Power of Self-Compassion (Guest Post)

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Today’s guest post is from Michael Vallejo, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Mental Health Center Kids.

When we watch TV, scroll through social media, or see other people’s achievements in life, we can develop unrealistic standards of beauty, intelligence, and success. This can create a habit of constantly comparing ourselves to others, which can lead to harsh self-criticism.

Harsh self-criticism can have a negative impact on our mental and emotional health. A healthier way to deal with your imperfections is to recognize them without judgment and respond with self-compassion.

What is Self-Compassion? (And Its Importance)

Self-compassion is the act of treating yourself the same way you would treat other people who are having a difficult time. It is noticing your suffering, having the desire to care for yourself, and recognizing that your imperfection or struggle is a part of being human.

Dr. Kristin Neff, who pioneered the study of self-compassion, identified the three elements of self-compassion:

  • Self-Kindness. This involves being concerned and caring for your discomfort and distress. It’s being there for yourself when you find life difficult. 
  • Common Humanity. This means that you recognize that facing challenges in life is an experience that all humans share, so you don’t feel alone in your struggles.
  • Mindfulness. To be mindful is to acknowledge your pain without overidentifying your negative thoughts and feelings. It takes a balanced approach that allows you to have the perspective to practice compassion for yourself.

Self-compassion is important in today’s society because it can help you strike a balance between striving for excellence and accepting your limitations. This way, you can bounce back from setbacks, learn from your failures, and still have a positive outlook in life even in the face of challenges.

Understanding the Concept of Imperfection

Perfectionism can leave us constantly stressed, burnt out, and unhappy with our lives. Moreover, unrealistic expectations can lead to low self-esteem and negative self-talk.

Imperfections are qualities or characteristics of something or someone that deviate from a perfect or ideal standard. It might refer to physical imperfections, such as scars or blemishes. Or even academic imperfections, such as grades that are less than perfect. 

Before we can practice self-compassion, we need to recognize that flaws are a part of life. When we recognize that humans are imperfect, then we can look at our shortcomings and avoid falling into feelings of self-loathing. It allows us to understand that it’s normal to make mistakes or accept that some things are out of our control.

The Detrimental Effects of Self-Judgment

Self-judgment involves looking at yourself, your characteristics, actions, and behaviors in a critical or often negative way. When you talk to yourself in a negative way, you can start to believe that everything your inner critic says is true. Additionally, it can fuel your perfectionism tendencies, which can lead to a constant fear of failure. 

The Power of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can reduce the pressure to be perfect because you can accept that you’re only human. You can better bounce back from setbacks and cope with challenges. Moreover, if you treat yourself with compassion, you can treat others with the same understanding.

Studies on Self-Compassion

The concept of self-compassion and its effects have been researched in various studies. According to a 2007 research, self-compassion can reduce people’s reactions to negative events. It can lessen the impact of negative self-feelings when imagining distressing events and receiving contradictory feedback. Moreover, it can also make people recognize their role in negative events without being overwhelmed.

Self-compassion has also been linked to improved emotional well-being. In a 2022 study, results showed a positive two-way connection between self-compassion and happiness. It was also found that mindfulness was a significant contributing factor that influences happiness.

Strategies for Embracing Imperfection

Practicing self-compassion is key to embracing your imperfections. Here are some strategies you can try:

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is a key element of self-compassion. It’s taking a balanced approach to dealing with your negative thoughts and emotions, so you’re not avoiding or exaggerating your feelings. By being mindful, you are avoiding falling into the pitfall of rumination, which is the process of repetitive thinking or dwelling on your negative thoughts.

For example, if you catch yourself having a negative thought, take a moment to pause what you are doing. Acknowledge the thought as an impartial observer and label it as just a thought. Assess if your thoughts are helpful or useful. Recognize that you have the choice to let go of the thoughts if they’re not helpful to you. 

Use positive affirmations

Affirmations are statements that you can use to challenge and replace negative thoughts about yourself. They can help you gain a more positive mindset.

Positive affirmations play an important role in practicing self-compassion because you’re promoting a kinder attitude toward yourself. They can help you challenge negative self-talk and break the cycle of harsh self-judgment.

Self-love affirmations can help promote body positivity, emotional well-being, self-compassion, personal growth, self-worth, and inner peace. For example, you can say, “I forgive myself for making mistakes. I believe in my ability to learn from them” or “I embrace my imperfections as a part of my unique and beautiful self.”

Accept and learn from mistakes

Instead of letting your failures defeat you, use them as opportunities for learning and growth. 

First, acknowledge your mistake and recognize that it’s part of being human. The next step is to take responsibility for your actions and analyze the mistake to understand what went wrong. Ask yourself, what can you learn and what would you do differently next time.

If needed, you can take action to rectify the situation. You can also seek feedback from other people to gain another perspective. Then develop a plan so you can avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. Lastly, forgive yourself and let go of the self-blame so you can grow as a person.

Self-Compassion in Daily Life

Start your day mindfully by taking a few deep breaths and setting your intentions for the day ahead. 

Then you can recite positive affirmations about yourself. Repeat these statements regularly multiple times a day so you can internalize them.

Try to practice self-kindness when you make mistakes or face challenges throughout the day. Replace negative self-talk such as “I’m so stupid for making mistakes” with “It’s okay to make mistakes, I will learn from it and do better.” This can help you achieve a growth mindset while being compassionate towards yourself. 

At the end of the day, you can also write in your journal to express your thoughts and feelings during difficult moments and reflect on your mistakes. Use self-compassionate language as much as possible. Don’t forget to list down things you’re grateful for and celebrate your progress as well!

Embrace Your Imperfections Through Self-Compassion

Remember that your flaws are what make you human, relatable, and unique. That’s why embracing your imperfections is a powerful act of self-love. 

You can practice self-compassion by being kind to yourself just as you would to a friend. It might take time and effort to gain this skill, but it’s all worth it in the end.

Image of Michael Vallejo

Michael Vallejo is a licensed clinical social worker with a private therapy practice in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He specializes in helping children and teens with mental health concerns. He is passionate about providing effective and compassionate care. He is an advocate for mental health awareness and is the founder of Mental Health Center Kids, a website that provides resources and support for parents, teachers, and mental health professionals who care for children and teens.

One Foot in Front of the Other

Nathan Smith2 Comments

Time can be tricky to manage. Sometimes, it feels like time is moving at a snail’s pace. Other times, it feels like our life is moving faster than we can keep up with – weeks, months (even years!) might feel like they pass in the blink of an eye. Regardless of how it moves, my least favorite aspect of time is when I tend to lose track of it.

This fall, I celebrated six years of blogging. In fact, this is my 500th post on My Brain’s Not Broken – a number so high I can’t even process it at the moment (and no, I didn’t intend for this post to be number 500, but here we are!). At some point a few years ago, I got into the rhythm of writing two blog posts per week. It felt manageable, I had a lot to write about, and I felt like there was a ton of experience to pull from in writing my posts. But in the past few months, I started to feel pressure when it came to my blog, and it was a new experience for me.

I’ll be clear, though; all this pressure was internal. I don’t quite know when it happened but somewhere in the past few years, I started to feel the pressure I’d put on myself to churn out two blog posts every week. For all you creators out there – you know what it’s like to put out content because you’ve made a commitment and you told yourself you would do it. The goals I set for this blog are entirely internal and up to me to create and yet, I feel extreme pressure from myself all the time to live up to the expectations I set – even if those expectations aren’t always realistic.

This post is my way of trying to return to this space feeling a little fresher, a little more rested, and ready to get back into blogging. But in the spirit of honesty, that’s not entirely true. Sometimes, taking a break from something can give us the rest we need. But it can also become a source of anxiety and stress if we don’t know what our break is for or how long we’re doing it. When I take a break from something, that’s usually what happens.

Unfortunately, I am not returning to this space refreshed, or ready to tackle this project with a fresh sense of perspective. However, I am returning with a renewed purpose. Going forward, I might not be posting as much as I’d prefer. But I’ve determined that continuing to write, to continue sharing my story and the stories of others is ultimately more important than not posting at all. I’ve seen the power and strength that come when people speak up about mental health and mental illness, and it’s these moments that continue to fuel me.

However this journey continues for My Brain’s Not Broken, I am excited. I want to give myself the grace and understanding I give to others because we’re often kinder to other people than we are to ourselves. Even though mental health awareness has improved in many ways since I started this blog, people’s mental health and wellness are being tested in ways that I couldn’t imagine a decade ago. All I can do now, in this moment, is to keep moving at my own pace, deliberately, head held high, one foot in front of the other. And I hope that when you have these same moments when you feel like you have no more to give, you can find it in yourself to do the same.

“You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead.” - George Lucas

Resources to Know During Suicide Prevention Awareness Month 2023

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CW: This post discusses suicide and suicide awareness.

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month is extremely important for many reasons, but one of the most important is that it’s a chance to have open discussions about suicide and suicide prevention. It’s also a good time to share resources for those who may need them, as well as people looking to share information with their loved ones and communities. Over the years, I’ve been able to put together an extensive list of resources surrounding suicide prevention, which is what I’d like to share again this year.

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Stand-Up Comedy and Mental Health: An Interview with Drew Landry

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Today’s post is an interview with Drew Landry, a stand-up comedian and writer from Maryland, currently based in Los Angeles. Drew is very open and honest about mental health in his work. In this interview, we talked about his approach to comedy, mental health and his recent comedy special. Thanks for speaking with me, Drew!

Drew Landry
Landry (image via Drew Landry)

First off, I wanted to ask you about your work. How did you get into stand-up comedy? 

When I was a little kid I wanted to be a comedian, I had an SNL “Best of Chris Farley” DVD I would watch all the time. In middle school I watched a lot of stand-up on TV, like a lot of Comedy Central specials, and I wanted to try it, so when I was 13 I did stand-up at my middle school talent show. Obviously, I wasn’t good, but I immediately caught the bug and fell in love with doing it. So I started doing stand-up at this coffeehouse open mic near me every week. When I was 16 they started letting me perform in bars and comedy clubs.

Comedy can be a good outlet for our mental health – why do you think that is?

It’s a HUGE, annoying cliche to say this, and I hate that I’m gonna say it but I think it’s true, I think a lot of comedians are just really fucked up people. Whether it’s mental illness or addiction issues. And you kind of write jokes about the things that are on your mind, so if you’re struggling with mental health you’re naturally going to write jokes about it because it’s just a thing that you’re thinking about a lot. Obviously, it can go too far. You’ll see a lot of comics at open mics who just rant about their depression and don’t have punchlines, it’s exhausting to sit through. So your comedy can’t just be a therapy session, you still need to have jokes. 

You have been open about living with bipolar disorder. How/Why do you incorporate that into your work?

I used to be really embarrassed about being bipolar, I kept it a secret. Then I realized how freeing it was to be open about it. It was a great feeling to go from “I can’t ever let anyone know I’m bipolar” to telling jokes about being bipolar onstage. It helped me get rid of that shame and embarrassment about it. 

Congratulations on your recent comedy special, “All My Friends Are Dead.” This is a deeply personal set – how has making this impacted you, and what’s the response been like?

The responses have made me happy. I wanted it to be a tribute first and foremost, while still having constant punchlines and never feeling like a monologue or a one-man show, and I also really wanted it to be comfort food for anyone who’s going through grief. I can’t tell if I fully accomplished that but based on the responses I’ve gotten it seems like I did. 

What is your personal approach to mental health? What do you do to maintain mental wellness?

Exercise is the biggest thing, even if it’s just a tiny bit of exercise, just being physically active, I think it makes a huge difference, at least for me.

What is your favorite thing about stand-up comedy?

It might be a boring answer but honestly, it’s just so fun to do There’s nothing more fun. The adrenaline rush, it’s just the best.

Drew Landry is a stand-up comedian and writer from Maryland, currently based in Los Angeles. He went on tour with Carlos Mencia two weeks after graduating high school, and he has also toured with Dana Gould and Iliza Shlesinger. 

Landry performed at the Just For Laughs festival in Vancouver in 2022, and he hosts the monthly show Salty AF at the Hollywood Improv. He created and wrote the humor section for the popular hip-hop site DJBooth and has also written satire articles for the college website Total Sorority Move. His articles on Medium have received millions of views, including his 2017 piece “I Have a Theory That Donald Glover and Childish Gambino Are Secretly The Same Person” which went viral. He was recently named one of the top 50 Humor writers on Medium.

The Surprising Impact of Depression

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There are several symptoms of depression that can make life challenging. Whether these impacts are on our physical health, our mental health or something else, you don’t always know how these symptoms will impact you in your day-to-day life. After years of living with depression, one thing I’ve come to realize is that my experience with depression has a massive impact on the way I see the world. And even though this impact has done a world of good in some areas, it has a negative impact in others. Today, I’d like to reflect on an unintended impact of my depression that I’m hoping to shift my thinking about.

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Informed and Included: An Interview with NOWINCLUDED’s Tiffany Whitlow

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Today’s post is an interview with Tiffany Whitlow, who is the co-founder of biotechnology research company Acclinate, and its associated community brand NOWINCLUDED – the online health community focused on empowering the Black community to make better-informed health decisions. In this interview, we talked about NOWINCLUDED, shrinking the stigma, and the importance of taking charge of your mental health. Thank you for talking with me, Tiffany!

While all communities experience mental health issues, the Black community suffers from an increased rate of mental health concerns. What is NOWINCLUDED doing to change this?

NOWINCLUDED is a community created by Black people for Black people to talk and learn about health issues that impact us, including mental health. Through NOWINCLUDED, our community members can have a safe space for them to discuss what’s going on with them, get support from people who can relate to them, and learn about opportunities and information that can help them be healthier. We’re also partnering with organizations like Prosper in Birmingham, Alabama, for example, to provide access to practical resources like virtual mental health groups, career matching services, and a community food bank because everything – having a person to talk to, a job to pay the bills, a place to get food for the family, etc. – can impact our community’s mental health.

Tiffany Whitlow (image via Tiffany Whitlow)

Part of your work is to empower people to make better-informed mental health decisions. What are some of the most significant barriers to people receiving the care they need?

We want to empower the Black community to make better-informed decisions about their health in general, including mental health, because we know from our community members’ experiences and stories that mental health can be affected by everything that’s going on in your life. We also know from research that Black adults are more likely to have feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness than white adults, and yet, only one in three Black adults with mental illness receive treatment. There could be several reasons for this, including cultural stigma (that seeking help is a sign of weakness), lack of mental health professionals who can understand Black people’s lived experiences without personal biases and support them effectively, and socioeconomic disparities (which can translate to real-life issues like not having health insurance or being able to afford therapy). So, we’re amplifying stories from our community members to show that it’s ok to be vulnerable with your health, we’re here to help you feel seen and heard, and we have resources that can help you (and the Black community in general) live healthier.

How do you work to shrink the stigma surrounding mental health?

In the Black community, some people might think of suffering in silence as having strength and speaking up and asking for help as weakness. There also might be some people who tell people that are experiencing mental health issues to “pray it away” or simply label them as “crazy.” But, the truth is that mental health issues are diagnosable and manageable, like any other health issues. So, we’re trying to reduce the stigma around mental health among our community and encourage people to be their own health advocates by sharing our community members’ stories – like in this video for example, where we discussed the impact of COVID-19 on the mental health of our community members.

On your website, you note that as little as 2% of the US population is currently a part of clinical trials, and only a fraction of that includes individuals from communities of color. How can better representation in clinical trials lead to better health care (specifically, mental health care)?

I think my story, as well as my co-founder Del Smith’s story, demonstrates how more inclusive clinical research can help improve the health of not just the Black community, but also communities of color at large. As a young mom, my son was diagnosed with asthma. When he was only an infant, I discovered that his asthma medication, which is widely used to prevent and treat wheezing and shortness of breath caused by asthma, was 47% less effective for Black people compared to white people. It was devastating and scary for me to learn that this treatment wasn’t providing the relief my son needed. I wouldn’t want any mother or person to go through the experience that my son and I did, and that’s what inspired me to create the NOWINCLUDED community, so that we can be informed and included in processes that affect our health.

When Black people and other people of color are included in clinical research, it can help researchers develop treatments that can potentially be more effective and safer for us – and this isn’t just limited to physical health issues like asthma, but mental health as well. As more researchers study the mental health challenges that Black people face, there’s more potential to have more effective tools and solutions for us. So, while it is completely up to each person in our community to make the decision to participate in clinical research or not, I encourage them to learn about what clinical research opportunities are out there and how our participation can help improve our community’s health.

Whitlow (image via Tiffany Whitlow)

NOWINCLUDED emphasizes communities of color “taking control of their mental health.” In your view, what does it mean for someone to take control of their mental health, and why is this important?

We want to empower our Black community and communities of color to take control of their health in general, mentally and physically, and that can look like different things. It can be learning about different disorders (including mental health disorders) even if you think you’d never have them – you can not only stay healthy by learning about how to prevent them, but also recognize them more quickly, hopefully, should you experience any symptoms. It can also be staying informed of how advances in our society can impact our health – for example, how artificial intelligence and machine learning can help reduce health disparities, with our input. It can be participating in clinical research after learning more about what it really means to be a part of it. All of this is important because we have the ability in each of us to work towards better health, for ourselves and even for our community. When we help educate each other and make sure we’re all making informed decisions, we can create generational health.

What would you say to the people reading this who want to get help, but have no idea where to begin?

I would first say I am proud of them for recognizing the need to get help and actively looking for help. This is the first step in taking control of your health and making decisions that can improve your health. I have a simple process that helps me through any decision and truly helps my mental health. That process is PAUSE, BREATHE, GO. First, you must pause and remember why you started, breathe and internalize your feelings, then go execute, go be great, go change the world! Pause- breathe- go, it’s as simple as stop, drop, and roll.

I think the Internet is a great resource to start, where you can find mental health services and organizations specifically created with Black people in mind, like Black Mental Health Alliance, for example. Another great resource is your own community, like your family, friends, and even NOWINCLUDED, so you can feel seen and heard by people who can potentially relate to your issues on a more fundamental, cultural level and maybe introduce you to resources and tools you might not have known before. Help is out there for you. You’re not alone.

Tiffany Whitlow is the co-founder of biotechnology research company Acclinate, and its associated community brand NOWINCLUDED – the online health community focused on empowering the Black community to make better-informed health decisions. Tiffany had experienced first-hand the lack of information in the Black health space, which is why she wanted to change medical systems and how the community finds, discovers and takes advantage of ways to improve and maintain their health.

The Power of a Positive Impact

Nathan Smith2 Comments

When I say the words “mental health,” where does you mind go? What is the first thing you think of? When I think of the words “mental health,” my instinct is to think about myself, and I suspect I’m not alone. We have a tendency to think about issues and topics through our own lens. It makes things easier to understand, process and work through problems when we can do this. However, this tendency can also do a world of damage. Today, I want to talk about the importance of making a positive impact – and how you can help.

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Mental Health Statistics to Know During Pride Month 2023

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For the past few years, I’ve researched data and statistics surrounding mental health in the LGBTQIA+ community during Pride Month. I think it’s important to understand what mental health challenges exist for unique communities and groups of people, and these statistics help paint that picture. Every year, statistics show that the LGBTQIA+ community disproportionately at risk for mental health challenges, mental illness and suicide. Here are a few examples.

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