General

Why Do I Do the Things I Do?

Nathan Smith4 Comments

Years of living with anxiety and depression have taught me many things. Some of those things were about mental health, while other things were about myself and who I am as a person. But despite all I’ve learned, I still do things that leave me asking myself one question over and over: Why did I do that?

I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way, but I’m the type of person who always wants to know the why of something. Why did I do that? Why did they say that? Why did I react that way? This question can come from all sorts of situations, and can happen on an almost daily basis. And while there are often simple answers, not every one of them will be satisfying. When it comes to our mental health, those questions can be some of the most difficult to answer.

I remember when I was first dealing with anxiety and depression, and I would ask myself “Why?” all the time. All the time! Why was I sad? Why didn’t I have a reason? Why was I struggling getting out of bed? Every new thing I learned brought new questions about mental illness, or about myself. And I desperately wanted answers.

But sometimes with our mental health, answers can be hard to come by. We want clear explanations, something obvious to point to, for why we feel the way we do. But mental illness often doesn’t give us the response we’re looking for – if it gives us a response at all. So we have to find other ways to reach our goals.

One of the ways I get around asking the impossible Why? questions is to ask myself something more practical. These questions feel similar but they start with a different word: what. What am I feeling? What is happening within my body, in the world around me? What factors might be impacting how I’m feeling right now? What can I do in this moment to help support myself? It was a massive shift in my way of thinking that I didn’t know I needed. Rather than put the focus on something I couldn’t change, I tried to move it to something I could. I can’t control everything that happens to me, but I do control how I react. And while I don’t remember that in every situation, it’s helped me plenty of times.

So this is what I’d like to leave you with today. You might not always know why you’re acting the way you are, and that can be frustrating. But understanding that you are doing it, that there’s a reason behind it, is also important. You can’t solve a problem you don’t know exists, right? Many mental health challenges grow or persist because we’re not able to see the problem for what it is. Asking “what’s wrong?” instead of “why am I doing this?” might sound like a small change in word choice, but it’s helped me shift my mindset on my own mental health. And over time, those small changes can amount to big ones – not only for our mental health, but for our whole self.

An image of flowers and a pond with text over top that reads: There are things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self. Benjamin Franklin

Reflecting on the Seven Types of Rest

Nathan Smith7 Comments

After writing my most recent post about misunderstanding the meaning rest, the idea continued to sit in my mind. As I wrote in that post, it’s clear that many of us know we’re not getting enough rest. Even the people who are getting enough rest feel like they aren’t. And in the way the world has changed in recent decades, there are more reasons than ever for exhaustion. But did you know just how many different types of rest exist? In the spirit of trying my best, I decided to look into these various types and share what I’ve learned.

The seven types of rest

The inspiration for this post came from a TED article titled “The 7 types of rest that every person needs.” I learned a lot of things reading this article, and not only that there are different types of rest! We tend to think of rest as inaction, as not moving or being alone. Whether that’s an American way or a Western way of thinking, that’s how I’ve seen rest portrayed in my life. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say resting is synonymous with sleeping – but actually, it’s much more.

Something this article opened my eyes to is the fact that rest happens when we have the time and space to do so. It’s difficult to rest if you’re stressed, don’t feel comfortable, or have pressing things to do. Removing yourself from situations is often seen as the optimal version of rest. That said, it was interesting to learn that rest can also involve enjoying things you love or being around people who fill up your cup.

While physical rest is important, it’s far from the only type. Other types of rest include mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social, and spiritual. What I love about this variety of rest is that each type of rest fills a unique need for people. It reminds us that we’re all different and that we need different things. As someone more introverted, focusing on sensory rest and social rest might be more important to me than other people. At the same time, some people value having more or less emotional rest than myself. We are all different, which means we have different needs.

Shifting how we view wellness

This lesson on rest not only helped shift the way I view my mental health, but wellness in general. There are so many ways we can take care of ourselves and in that same vein, there are so many ways to rest. Rest is more than sleep, and sleep alone won’t always give us the restoration we need.

It can be frustrating to learn that sleep isn’t always the answer, but I’m choosing to lean in. When you think about it, rest and mental health have a lot in common. Just as there is not one way to rest, there isn’t only one way to take care of our mental health. The more we learn, the more we grow, and the better equipped we are to get what we need. In whatever ways you rest, I hope you learn how rest can provide restoration and rejuvenation – something each one of us deserves.

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." - Arthur Ashe

A Reflection on Comfort Zones

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When you read the words comfort zone, what comes to mind? You might think of the way people tell us to leave them; you might wonder if you’re in one right now. A comfort zone might not be a place at all; it could be a feeling or a moment in time. It could even be a way of doing things you’re comfortable with, a routine or rhythm. Every year around this time, the idea of comfort zones pops into my head. I reflect on my own, but I also think about the idea itself. Why is it so important that we go out of our comfort zones, and why do we talk about it all the time?

As with many of the terms I talk about on this blog, I like to start with a definition. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a comfort zone is defined as:

“A situation in which you feel comfortable and in which your ability and determination are not being tested.”

Cambridge Dictionary

When I think about how often I’m in my comfort zone, I have a hard time coming up with a good answer. It’s possible (if not probable) that I’m in my comfort zone a majority of the time. It makes sense; people have their daily routines, and finding a rhythm in my daily life is important to me. For some people, the problem might not be that they’re stuck in their comfort zone; it could be that they can’t even determine where that is.

Sometimes, we don’t know we’re in our comfort zone unless we’re removed from it. And that removal can be abrupt, swift, and uncomfortable. But it’s also where we can find out new things about ourselves, who we are, and what helps us grow. It’s that growth that can provide meaningful change in our lives, that can move us to take charge and take action.

As we start the new year, it would be easy for me to write a post urging you to get out of your comfort zone. How it’s important to get out of our comfort zones, why it’s necessary for growth, and why enough of us don’t do it. But that type of post leaves out a key aspect of comfort zones, and about change in general. Creating change and getting out of your comfort zone can happen to you, just as much as you can make it happen yourself. Encouraging someone to ‘get out of their comfort zone,’ while helpful, puts the onus on a person to create change (which is hard to do).

When it comes to comfort zones, we all have different challenges to face. What might feel impossible for one person is easy for someone else. But the thing is, if you’re looking to get out of your comfort zone, I’d encourage you to look for the opportunities that will inevitably come your way. Because the truth is, opportunities to get outside your comfort zone exist all around us – we just need to keep our eyes and hearts open for these moments.

What is your take on comfort zones? Do you think they help people grow, or do they cause stress and create burdens? Why do you think it’s so important that we break out of them? Let me know in the comments!

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." - Abraham Maslow

How I Got Better at Sharing My Story

Nathan Smith1 Comment

Let’s be honest: talking about mental health is hard. It’s broad, it can feel all encompassing and because everyone has their own experience, it can become complicated very quickly. Oftentimes, conversations about mental health can be overwhelming, and we can’t always find the solutions we need because of it. While talking about mental health and mental illness is hard, talking about our own mental health is even harder. It can feel impossible for people to talk about their own mental health; in fact, some people never open up about this part of their life. It can involve very personal experiences and emotions they’ve never shared with anyone, and the stigma attached to mental health issues could also play a significant role. When I was first dealing with mental health issues, I was bad about opening up. But somewhere in the last ten years, I got better at sharing my story. Here’s how that happened, and how it changed the way I view myself and my mental health challenges.

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How Are You Talking About Suicide Prevention?

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How do you have a conversation about a sensitive topic? Where do you even begin? This month, I’ve written several posts about information and resources related to suicide prevention. I’ve been able to compile numbers and information that makes it clear that suicide is a public health issue we need to address as a society. But despite all this information – despite knowing that this is a problem that we need to face – I still have trouble talking about it. A lot of trouble, in fact. And that’s because, while it has improved, talking about suicide and suicide prevention is challenging. So what can we do?

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Resources to Know During Suicide Prevention Awareness Month 2023

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CW: This post discusses suicide and suicide awareness.

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month is extremely important for many reasons, but one of the most important is that it’s a chance to have open discussions about suicide and suicide prevention. It’s also a good time to share resources for those who may need them, as well as people looking to share information with their loved ones and communities. Over the years, I’ve been able to put together an extensive list of resources surrounding suicide prevention, which is what I’d like to share again this year.

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Statistics to Know During Suicide Prevention Awareness Month 2023

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As I wrote in my post earlier this month, September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. The month is an important time for us to have the conversations we need about suicide and suicide prevention. In addition to having conversations and sharing stories, it’s also important to share data and statistics that help frame the conversation and spread awareness. Today, I want to share some important statistics in an effort to spread awareness about the growth and prevalence of suicide as a public health issue.

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Breaking Down Mental Health Terms: What are Should Statements?

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Over the years, I’ve learned a number of words, phrases and definitions that have helped me understand my own mental health. Some of these are connected to mental illness or medicine, while others are connected to mental wellness. In this recurring series, I break down some of the mental health terms I’ve learned over the years. Today, I’ll be breaking down should statements: what they are, what they look like and what we can do about them.

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Going Down The List

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Like many people, there are days when I feel off or don’t feel like myself. Sometimes I wake up feeling that way, and other times that feeling hits me at some random point during the day. Regardless, the moment that feeling hits is a familiar one. It’s almost as if there’s a missing piece to a puzzle, or as if I’ve forgotten an answer to a question I’ve known my whole life. When this happens, one of the first things I do is think about what I’ve done that day, or what I’m planning to do. And that starts by consulting my list.

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The Power of a Positive Impact

Nathan Smith2 Comments

When I say the words “mental health,” where does you mind go? What is the first thing you think of? When I think of the words “mental health,” my instinct is to think about myself, and I suspect I’m not alone. We have a tendency to think about issues and topics through our own lens. It makes things easier to understand, process and work through problems when we can do this. However, this tendency can also do a world of damage. Today, I want to talk about the importance of making a positive impact – and how you can help.

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