mental wellness

Why Do I Do the Things I Do?

Nathan Smith4 Comments

Years of living with anxiety and depression have taught me many things. Some of those things were about mental health, while other things were about myself and who I am as a person. But despite all I’ve learned, I still do things that leave me asking myself one question over and over: Why did I do that?

I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way, but I’m the type of person who always wants to know the why of something. Why did I do that? Why did they say that? Why did I react that way? This question can come from all sorts of situations, and can happen on an almost daily basis. And while there are often simple answers, not every one of them will be satisfying. When it comes to our mental health, those questions can be some of the most difficult to answer.

I remember when I was first dealing with anxiety and depression, and I would ask myself “Why?” all the time. All the time! Why was I sad? Why didn’t I have a reason? Why was I struggling getting out of bed? Every new thing I learned brought new questions about mental illness, or about myself. And I desperately wanted answers.

But sometimes with our mental health, answers can be hard to come by. We want clear explanations, something obvious to point to, for why we feel the way we do. But mental illness often doesn’t give us the response we’re looking for – if it gives us a response at all. So we have to find other ways to reach our goals.

One of the ways I get around asking the impossible Why? questions is to ask myself something more practical. These questions feel similar but they start with a different word: what. What am I feeling? What is happening within my body, in the world around me? What factors might be impacting how I’m feeling right now? What can I do in this moment to help support myself? It was a massive shift in my way of thinking that I didn’t know I needed. Rather than put the focus on something I couldn’t change, I tried to move it to something I could. I can’t control everything that happens to me, but I do control how I react. And while I don’t remember that in every situation, it’s helped me plenty of times.

So this is what I’d like to leave you with today. You might not always know why you’re acting the way you are, and that can be frustrating. But understanding that you are doing it, that there’s a reason behind it, is also important. You can’t solve a problem you don’t know exists, right? Many mental health challenges grow or persist because we’re not able to see the problem for what it is. Asking “what’s wrong?” instead of “why am I doing this?” might sound like a small change in word choice, but it’s helped me shift my mindset on my own mental health. And over time, those small changes can amount to big ones – not only for our mental health, but for our whole self.

An image of flowers and a pond with text over top that reads: There are things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self. Benjamin Franklin

Resources for Finding Mental Health Support

Nathan Smith2 Comments

If you’re like me, you don’t need to read another post about *gestures wildly* what’s going on in the world today. If you’re also like me, you’re being bombarded with a constant influx of news alerts and notifications that don’t seem to stop from morning until night. While I’m not here to write about my opinions on the state of things (mostly because you didn’t ask, but also because I don’t want to end up writing an angry rant today), at least one thing is clear: 2025 (and the years ahead) are going to take a toll on our mental health and wellness. We will need to prioritize our mental health not only for our own sake, but for the sake of our communities and the ones we love.

But finding support for mental health isn’t always as simple or straightforward as it appears. That’s why I’ve come up with five places you can turn to if you’re seeking mental health support:

Explore the options in your area.

Whether they are state, county, or city-wide, local governments typically have departments dedicated to mental health (in many cases it will also be titled “behavioral health”). These sites provide information like local therapists, community response teams, care for everyone from youth to adults, and more. If you are looking for something local, this could be the place to start.

Learn about access to Employee Assistance Programs.

These programs, otherwise known as EAPs, are “designed to help employees address personal and professional issues affecting their well-being and job performance.” Services are confidential and can help employees manage issues like “stress, mental health concerns, substance use disorders, and work-related conflicts.” Many employers offer EAPs to their employees, and whether you use it one time or on a consistent basis, it is worth checking in with your employer to see what’s offered.

Call a hotline (you have options!)

When it comes to mental health support, many people know the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline number (988 in case you don’t), but did you know there are hotlines for many different things? Looking in my area alone, several local organizations and the local government all have hotlines to call to provide counseling support. I will reiterate that every local area is different, but local resources can also have a huge impact. If you haven’t yet, I would urge you to do an Internet search and see what comes up for you.

Join a support group.

I personally have not joined a group like this before (though I have participated in group therapy), but I strongly believe in groups like this and the organizations that support them. These groups are peer-led, and offer the unique chance for attendees to receive and provide support for one another – a dynamic that makes it unique to one-on-one therapy. The National Alliance on Mental Illness and Psychology Today could be good places to start your search.

Ask your doctor.

Unsure of where to start? Don’t want to dive into the world of mental health on your own? Talking to your primary care physician is a good place to start. They may be able to refer you to a doctor or therapist in your network, or help you create a plan for next steps to take. And, since your mental health and physical health are closely related, it can’t hurt to make sure your doctor hears about other parts of your health and wellness.

In Conclusion

Whether you need these resources yourself or know someone who does, I hope this serves as a reminder that there is more than one way to get support for your mental health challenges. We’re all trying to do the best we can right now, and a big part of that is offering support and guidance to those who are in need. We’re stronger together – always have been, always will be.

I’d love to hear from you – what are some other ways of receiving mental health support? And do you think it’s easy for people to reach out for this type of support, or does the stigma still get in the way? Let me know in the comments!

Returning to Writing With a Renewed Focus

Nathan Smith2 Comments

Well, I’m back! It’s been several months, but I’m excited to be writing here again. I’ve taken breaks every now and then in the seven years since I started this blog; they are often unexpected and unscheduled, and I try to feel things out for the best time to return. In this case, I knew that I’d need to take a few months off from writing. At the same time, I expected to be getting back to it again in 2024, but that turned out not to be the case. And I am learning that not only is that okay, but it’s to be expected if I want to continue this project for as long as I am able to do so.

When I started My Brain’s Not Broken, I wanted to document my journey living with anxiety and depression. I was getting better at managing my symptoms, but there was still a lot I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand the number of ways that anxiety and depression impacted me. I didn’t understand just how vast the stigma surrounding mental health was – a stigma I’ve learned a lot about over the years. And I didn’t have any idea of the journey that writing would take me on.

One of the main reasons that I take breaks from writing is that I believe I don’t have much to say at the moment. As time passes, I feel even more strongly that this is the case. This time, though, was a little bit different. My life has been very busy since August, and I have had difficulty coming up with ideas and topics that I thought were worth sharing. While things have settled since then, I was still struggling to come up with post ideas. But the other day I remembered something that, time and again, has empowered me both in the mental health space, and as a human being.

Coming up with ideas for the blog hasn’t always been easy. Oftentimes, I feel like I am making things up as I go along. But there have also been times where I have been able to write several posts at a time; there have been times where the words pour out of me, where I am more than happy to share my perspective with whomever happens to visit this tiny corner of the Internet. And while I would prefer the latter to the former, both of these things are part of my experience as a writer, a mental health advocate, and a person.

So, like I have been doing for the past seven years, I am going to write what I know. I am going to write to my experience, and I am going to write from my own unique perspective. We all have our own stories to tell; over time, those stories may shift and change, but they are still ours. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and my mental healthy, in writing this blog. But as I have written time and time again, this is a lifelong journey – one I am proud to take part in.

But it’s not just my journey that I write about. According to the World Health Organization, one in eight people worldwide lives with a mental health disorder, a number that rises by millions every year. Despite all the awareness that’s been raised, all the progress we’ve seen, mental health continues to be a significant issue for everyone. We are all impacted by mental health challenges in some way and more we ignore it, the worse things will get.

So now, I am not just writing for myself. I’m writing to raise awareness; I’m writing to bring hope and joy to people who might feel lost and alone. I’m writing because mental health impacts everyone, and has the power to impact every aspect of our lives. The better we understand it, the better we understand ourselves and each other. We are stronger together, we are better together, and we are on this journey together. I’m glad to be back, and I hope you can join me for the ride.

How Anxiety Leads to Assumptions

Nathan Smith2 Comments

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about the impact that my experience with anxiety has on me. It impacts the way I see the world, the way I interact with it, and the way I interact with others. But after years of learning about myself and my anxiety, I’ve started to notice the patterns that my anxiety creates. One pattern in particular is how my anxiety can lead to making assumptions, and how those assumptions can create problems in my life that didn’t exist before. Anxiety can lead to assumptions and if we don’t make the connection, anxiety can lead you down a road of miscommunications and life being more difficult than it should be.

We all know that old saying about assumptions: “when you assume...” And the wordplay aside, this adage makes a good point. Assumptions, no matter what they’re about, can cause problems for everyone involved and despite our best efforts, we all make assumptions at some point or another. But assumptions can cause trouble when they guide our decision-making, and that’s where it’s important to acknowledge the relationship between anxiety, anticipation, and assumptions.

There’s a lot in this world that can make us anxious (thank you, GAD), but one of the things that can trigger anxiety is when we are confronted with the unknown. Oftentimes if we need an answer to a question or there’s a piece of information we can’t get the answer to, we get anxious. The anxiety itself isn’t a problem — it’s the fact that this anxiety leads to making assumptions, and then acting on those assumptions.

Anxiety is an interesting thing. Your brain can feel like it’s moving a million miles per hour but simultaneously, your body is staying still. You want to do five things at once and because of that, you do nothing. And in trying to deal with the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety, in feeling sped up and out of control, we can try to deal with a situation in the quickest way possible. And often, that solution is acting on assumptions.

Anxiety can take the form of thoughts, patterns and behaviors that impact our day-to-day lives. When left unchecked and unchallenged, these feelings can grow and fester in unhealthy ways. Knowing how my anxiety works hasn’t stopped me from having anxiety (unfortunately), but it has helped me understand myself more. I probably won’t stop making assumptions, but I’m hopeful that understanding the connection my anxiety has toward making assumptions will help me moving forward.

Making connections won’t always stop us from doing certain things, but it can help us learn patterns that have developed in our lives over the years. And in learning about these patterns, we can also unlearn them, and find a healthier way to see the world.

What do you think? Do you feel like you make a lot of assumptions in your day-to-day life? How does that impact your mental health?

Why I Work On My Mental Health

Nathan Smith2 Comments

I’m not sure how many other people do this, but I get hyper-fixated on what I do in my day-to-day life. I constantly analyze my habits, hobbies, and what I choose to do (or not do) during my day. Whether it’s for work or fun, I’m in a near-constant state of thought, lost in my head about my choices. But in all this thinking, I forget that I don’t always have control over what impacts my mental health, which is what I’d like to talk about today.

This post serves as a reminder of sorts, as I’m sure it’s something I’ve written about sometime in the last five years. But even if it is, it feels like a reminder I need every so often. When your life starts to find its rhythm, things are great. You feel comfortable like you’ve finally figured it out, and everything seems to flow. It’s a nice feeling, but it can often create problems when that flow gets interrupted.

When my mental health is in a good place and something comes along to disrupt that, I won’t lie: I get upset at myself. I get upset at the situation, and I get upset that I’m not in a good mood anymore. But upon reflection, this is a gross misunderstanding of why I’ve built up my mental health.

For a long time, I thought of mental health as a synonym for being happy. When people focus on their mental health they’re usually happier, right? This led me to conclude that focusing on my mental health would lead to a better mood and a happier life.

For several reasons, this assumption wasn’t helpful and didn’t work. Mental health is more than just trying to “be happy.” It’s not a hack, it’s not a secret, and it’s not a one-stop shop. Working on ourselves takes time and effort, and we don’t always see results the way we think we will. I thought improving my mental wellness would stop the storms from coming. The storms of anxiety attacks, days of depression, and all the ways mental illness challenges us. But I was coming at this problem from the wrong angle. Improving my mental wellness hasn’t stopped the storm from coming. Rather, it’s allowed me to weather the storm, to make it through until the sun shines again.

Sometimes, for reasons you can’t control, the world will put you in a bad mood. It will put you in a sad mood, or cause you pain and anguish. This might sound dramatic, but it’s the truth. And it’s in these moments that we can lean on what we’ve learned, and how we’ve grown. I often see my growth not because of the positive moments, but because of the difficult ones.

Whether this post finds you in a good mood or a bad one, I hope it provides the same reminder that it did for me. And even though we can’t control everything, the work we do on ourselves matters, because we matter. I can try and control every aspect of my day, and something can still come out of nowhere and create a challenge. That’s when I can lean on what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown to handle the situation in front of me. It doesn’t always work out, but this approach has brought more good than bad in my life, and that’s good enough for me.

"Each problem that I solved became a rule, which served afterwards to solve other problems." - Rene Descartes

Mental Health Tips and Reminders to Start 2024

Nathan Smith6 Comments

Hello friends, and Happy New Year! Since I’ve written several New Year’s posts on this blog, I thought I’d try my hand at it again in 2024. In past years, my messages around the new year have varied greatly. Early on in this blog’s history, I wrote about my rejection of New Year’s resolutions and the pressure they put on us. A few years ago, I reflected on how I’d like to start the new year off right. And last year, I reflected on how I wanted to approach 2023. In reading these posts, I’ve come to see the ways I’ve changed (and yes, grown) in the years of writing this blog. This year, I’d like to take the focus off me and put it back on mental health. There are many ways we can try to grow in the new year, but how can we do it with our mental health? Here are five mental health tips as you build and grow your mental wellness in 2024.

Start where you are.

When it comes to mental health and wellness, it’s important to know where to start. And the fact is, we’re all at different points on our mental health journeys — and that’s okay. Not only is it okay, but it’s as it should be. I can’t tell you how many times I grew frustrated when I would fail at something related to my mental health while seeing someone else succeed. I thought I was doing something wrong when in fact, it just wasn’t the right time for me. Now is the time for an honest assessment: how is your mental health? Are you prioritizing it in the way you deserve? This looks different for everyone, so it’s important to be honest and open with yourself.

Awareness is just the first step.

One of the most important things I’ve learned about mental health is that when we discover something about ourselves we’d like to work on, it doesn’t magically go away. That’s often when the real work begins. Many of us have experienced cognitive distortions, negative thoughts and other mental health challenges for years without fully understanding what they are. Awareness is valuable, but it’s not a cure. Once I accepted this, it was easier to move forward.

There will be bumps in the road.

There’s a common misconception that once someone starts working on their mental health, life will get…easier, let’s say. Or that we’ve “fixed” the problem because we’ve acknowledged that something isn’t as it should be. And while we should give people their flowers for choosing themselves and prioritizing mental health, I wouldn’t want someone to think that’s all they have to do. There will be bumps along the way, the same way there are for so many things we do in life. Mental health is a lifelong journey, and accepting that there will be both ups and downs helps in the long run.

Find techniques that work for YOU.

This point is very important to me because it’s one of my core beliefs surrounding mental health. In the culture we’ve created, things become popular when they work for a wide number of people, which can create unrealistic expectations. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten frustrated with a “life hack” or “mental health tip” that seemed to work for so many people – but not me! It’s taken a long time to come to the understanding that I don’t need to find things that “work”; I need to find what works for me. Once I shifted that lens, I was able to focus more on myself, making my mental health more manageable.

Not everything is relevant to you – and that’s okay

This is similar to what I just wrote, but I’d like to elaborate because it’s an important point to make. Not everything we learn about mental health will be relevant for us. There are so many different tips and tricks, countless diagnoses and ways to evaluate mental health and wellness, and various ways to approach all these challenges. While you do want to focus on your own mental health, seeing the bigger picture is extremely valuable for everyone. Mental health impacts everyone, and the more we connect the dots, the more we can see how it helps shape the world around us.

Now, over to you! What mental health tips would you like to share as we start another new year? Let me know in the comments below!

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." - Hal Borland

The Learning Curve of Mental Health

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When it comes to my mental health, one thing I can always count on is that it won’t be too long before I learn something new. Sometimes it’s a mental health or psychological term. Other times it’s a phrase, or a more accurate description than one I’d been using. After ten years of living with depression and anxiety, there’s still a lot to learn. And while there are many ways to learn these lessons, today I want to reflect on how experience is often the best teacher.

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Remembering That I Have A Moment

Nathan Smith3 Comments

After writing a post earlier this week about how busy I feel, I wanted to reflect more. Part of the reason I felt busy was because there was a part of me that thought I shouldn’t be busy. That at this point in time, I wasn’t supposed to be doing what I was doing. This part of me ignored what was actually going on in my life. Instead, it was pursuing an unrealistic vision of a life I don’t lead, doing things I don’t do.

These thoughts led me to feeling like I had no time for anything, to the point where I couldn’t take a moment to myself. But, as it turns out, I do have that time. In fact, I’ve always had that time – and it’s that reminder that I want to reflect on today.

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On the Concept of Slowing Down

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Today’s post will be short but sweet. Many of my posts are written in advance or pre-scheduled, which I enjoy doing. But sometimes I want to share how I’m feeling in the moment, which requires some quick thinking and reflecting. So, in the midst of a very busy time in my life, I wanted to reflect on the importance of slowing down.

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Finding the Right Words

Nathan Smith2 Comments

How would you describe yourself? What words would you use? Would you describe yourself using full sentences, or create a list of adjectives? When I think about the way I describe myself, my brain freezes. It’s not that I’m afraid of using the wrong words, of talking about myself in a way that’s disingenuous. Actually, it’s the opposite; I’m worried I won’t include words that would clearly state who I am. I get scared that there’s a part of me that will never be known, things that will never be shared.

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